I'm Just Second Best

Wow, Just Wow

2006-05-01T22:57:00.000-06:00

Stephen Colbert just managed to become way more awesome than John Stewert, and I never thought it was possible.

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcIRXur61II

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HN0INDOkFuo

Watch this (only for completeness sake, it's not as good): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJvar7BKwvQ

This site pretty much sums it all up: http://thankyoustephencolbert.org/

How many people do you think could stand up on live TV, in front of the entire administration, and rip every single person in the room? Stephen Colbert did, because Stephen Colbert has some solid brass cojones.

For The Win

2006-04-20T20:44:00.000-06:00

So here's the question of the day...

Say you were on death row, and you got your choice of your last meal before they put you down. Let's also say you are seriously allergic to shellfish or something. So you ask for a big ol' crab dinner, that's not unusual or anything I would assume.

So as your throat swells shut, do the guards call a paramedic to save your life just so they can kill you or do they let you die?

P.S. I've decided that Spaghetti Os and Jack Daniels would be the most trailer trash last meal ever.

It's About To Get Philisophical Up In Here

2006-04-13T18:59:00.000-06:00

What is what is is the question I guess.

What's the most breathtaking sight you've ever seen? Or the brightest color? The greatest painting?

Isn't it really nothing though? What if air wasn't see through? How could you see anything if nothing was in the way?

What about odors? Best smelling dinner? Flower? Old Spice?

What if air had a detectable smell all of the time? How could you smell anything unless you've smelled nothing?

What about touch, taste, sound? What if all those molecules of Oxygen and Nitrogen created an audible sound when they crash into each other? Could you really enjoy your favorite band if there was the deafening sound of atoms crashing all the time?

Is nothing the greatest sound ever? The greatest sight? The greatest taste? The greatest odor? The greatest feeling?

Apprantly nothing fasicnates me.

Productivity Seems To Be Down

2006-04-03T23:53:00.000-06:00

I had class from 11am - 1pm today, afterwards I proceeded to play guitar and watch Comedy Central till 10:30 pm and that concluded my Monday's worth of activities. I only wish there was some way to motivate myself to do work. 15 credit hours is bullshit and I knew I never should have taken so little. As has always been the case I can't work unless I know that I don't have a lot of time to do it.

Back when I used to play sports in school this was made apparant to me. The times that I had to go to practice or games my grades were always better then during the offseason. If I come home from class and know that I'll have some obscene amount of time to complete some mundane bullshit that I don't care about I have no motivation to do it. When I came home after some sporting session and knew that I was going to crash in about 2 hours I knew that I had to get my shit done and I did so.

What's even worse is that I don't really pay attention for the majority of my classes anyway. My only motivation to go to my classes is so I can do the daily crossword puzzle. My life revolves around eating, sleeping, guitaring, and doing crossword puzzles. Ridiculous.

Tick

2006-03-28T16:07:00.000-07:00

Just got back from get my CPR/First Aid Qualifications for Youthworks. I don't wanna start any homework cause I have to leave in an hour anyway so I'm gonna waste some time with this stuff.

*Edit* Blah

Good Old Rock

2006-03-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd share this with the group.

[22:07] MatheMattical: ok?
[22:07] Coopshouse15: ok
[22:07] MatheMattical: ok
[22:07] MatheMattical: here we go
[22:07] MatheMattical: 1
[22:07] MatheMattical: 2
[22:07] MatheMattical: 3
[22:07] Coopshouse15: rock
[22:07] MatheMattical: paper
[22:08] MatheMattical: booyah
[22:08] Coopshouse15: damnit
[22:08] MatheMattical: alright
[22:08] MatheMattical: again
[22:08] MatheMattical: 1
[22:08] MatheMattical: 2
[22:08] MatheMattical: 3
[22:08] Coopshouse15: rock
[22:08] MatheMattical: paper
[22:08] Coopshouse15: fucking rock
[22:08] MatheMattical: booyah
[22:08] MatheMattical: hahahahahah
[22:08] MatheMattical: I win
[22:08] MatheMattical: you drive
[22:08] Coopshouse15: ok
[22:09] Coopshouse15: good old rock...
[22:10] MatheMattical: hahahahah

Bum = Hobo

2006-03-05T23:58:00.000-07:00

I'm not a swanky Brit, who else refers their ass as a "bum" anyway, its an ass.

"I realize I say Fuck a lot and I'd apologize for that, but I just don't give a shit." -Lewis Black

Colorado is less than a week away, super excited for that. I should be doing a lot of work this week since I won't do any over the break. If I can get some research done and churn out something related to my English essay by Friday I get a complimentary review from my prof.

Missed out on Motion City Soundtrack tonight which sucked, hopefully The Toasters are awesome enough to make up for it tomorrow though. Fuck Ticketmaster by the way. Those Bastards...

This one of the few times I've been up past midnight in a long while. Wierd cause I was up till 1 am almost every night last semester and I had more days with 8 am classes too. 15 credits is a waste of my life.

Things to shop for with all of my spare time:

New hat to start my new fad
Old bass from a pawn shop maybe
Recording mic
Milk enough to last me till Friday
Hair style? Not really shop for just find, I'm almost debating whether or not to go back to the really short & spikey, it seems to be pretty hip still. As we all know, I'm all about hip...

What If I Changed My Name To Bumshank?

2006-03-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

I have no idea where that title came from but its a question that has been in my head for whatever reason. I do really like the word bumshank though.

I should be like everybody else and write what I'm giving up for Lent, but I won't cause I'm not giving up anything. I'm not Catholic therefore why do I need to hijack one of those much maligned Catholic traditions that caused the split between the church anyway? Some people are just ignorant of their own faith, which kinda scares me. How much do they know about other faiths if they don't really know their own? Which scares me even more cause there are some crazy radical Muslims out there who set things on fire if you fuck with them. I may not know a whole lot about Islam but from what I gather forgiveness isn't really built into the foundation of that religion?

Some guy in my English class managed make me lose all respect for him the other day by saying the three most ignorant words I've heard in a long time. We were talking about the Arizona legislative thing that may force every classroom in every school from K-College to have a flag in it. I wasn't paying attention and I got called on so I was in the process of making some general statement that some people aren't proud of our country and a flag isn't going to help that. The exact phrasing is as follows:

Shad: "...well some people aren't exactly very proud of our country and..."
(Douche bag interrupts in the middle of the sentence)
Douche Bag: "Then get out!"
(Shad pauses because can't believe that Douche Bag is so very ignorant)
Shad: "Well when you have the nerve to tell 6 year olds to leave the country go right ahead."

You really had to be there to get the feel, because I'm almost positive that his bullshit was directly aimed at me. I walk into class almost every day with my band t-shirt and jeans, long hair, whatever so I look like all those dirty Bush hating hippies who only smoke pot and listen to punk rock. Meanwhile I happen to think that he looks like someone who got shit out of a GAP catalogue so I guess its mutual in a sense. Whatever, he wasn't in class today and I secretly sang a little happy song in my head because of it.

Fuck you liberals and conservatives both, its your fault that Douche Bag is such a douche bag in the first place.

What other troubling world issues can I spout off on now?

I think I know what I'm giving up for Lent now, I'm giving up hope for the human race...again.

P.S. I write lots of music these days that keeps me enclosed in my own happy little bubble so its A.S.A.O.K.

Nobility

2006-01-29T15:46:00.000-07:00

I need a band like whoa. I know i've probably said this a million times, but I really want to start a band and just sell out as hard as possible. We'll be the next Fall Out Boy or Jason Mraz or Death Cub for Cutie, whatever. Then once I'm well-entrenched in the music industry I'm gonna bring back Ska. I figure I'll be able to get a bunch of super awesome musicians together and when my sell out band goes on tour my ska band will open for them. I'll wear a mask or something so none of my screaming pre-teen girl fans will ever know that its actually me up there.

I think we've passed by 3rd Wave Ska when we exited the 90s and now we've emerged into about 4th Wave Ska or something. Well I'm gonna start a new wave, it's gonna the best wave since the first wave, I think I'll call it Tidal Wave Ska. Think about it for a sec, surf rock combined with ska maybe some punk, how could you not wanna buy that record?!?

Anyway, I'm putting it down in writing so when it happens I'll just point all my critics to this post and they'll realize that the only reason I sold out was so I could do something noble.

Clap Your Hands Say Shut The Fuck Up

2006-01-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

DC's link reminded me of something else we need to have a little chat about, that being really bad music of 2005. I can only think of 2 albums that made me want to shoot myself in the face and I know I've already ranted about one of them. So here goes my short list of albums not to listen to ever:

The Mars Volta - Frances the Mute - I know I've already ranted about them earlier in the year, so you can go back and review if you need to or you can read this amazing review of their album. They are still amazingly talented musicians in their own right, but at some point you've got to channel that talent into an amazing album instead of defending your worthless shit record as if it were made by God himself. And yes they are still selling their T-shirts for $20-25 (the shirts that are on sale are only $17!!!OMG!!!!
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Once again we have a band that is just to Indie for its own good. I don't personally know a single person who actually enjoys the sounds that escape from your speakers when the CD is played. I think if you consider yourself "Indie" then you are required to like this CD, because besides those kinds of people this album seems lost on the general populace. So I'm now going to attempt to describe most every song on the album with one sentence so here goes: guitar intro, riff/melody from some other instrument, verses and choruses, then theres my favorite part of every one of their songs, its the part where their terrible terrible singer repeats one line over and over again until you go batshit insane. Did I mention that their lead singer is awful? His voice literally fucks your ear, he may as well be raping both sides of your head at the same time because thats how you feel after about 2 minutes of his voice. So those parts where he's repeating one boring line over and over again are even worse because now you can't get that line out of your head and that line is sung by a verbal rapist. So every song sounds the same, the lyrics are super Indie (i.e. they make no sense unless you're a creative writing major), and the singer fucks your brains out through your ear., what more can you ask for in the most terribel album of the year.

Thus concludes my short list of music I downloaded and then immediately erased from my harddrive before my ears began serious hemorrhaging.

Superior Music of 2005!

2006-01-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

Ohmigosh! My favorite music of 2005!

I was going to do a Top Ten but I had trouble enumerating the albums after I had gotten through the first three. After that it became a massive clusterfuck of awesome music, so I'll just list those that at least had a chance had I been able to decide. In no particular order, the honorable mentions:

Fall Out Boy - From Under The Cork Tree
Death Cab For Cutie - Plans
The Academy Is... - Almost Here
Let Go - Let Go
The Aquabats - Charge!
Harvey Danger - Little By Little
Alkaline Trio - Crimson (Only because "Time To Waste" is one of the greatest songs of the year, the rest is pretty average)

Now for an actual list of music you should most definitely look into and its in a particular order too!

5. The Decemberists - Picteresque - This album took a while for me to warm up to, but eventually it did, due mostly to their live performance mentioned somewhere previously in the pages of my blogination. I never thought I'd be mentioning a Folk album as one of my favorite anythings, but that's exactly what this album is. Picteresque just happens to be a collection of fiction stories wrapped inside a toasty Indie/Pop music blanket. I can play this CD at anytime and there will be a track that fits my mood just perfectly. It seems to set me straight when I need it. I dunno, just buy it and enjoy if you like music at all.

Standout Tracks: "The Sporting Life" "16 Military Wives" "The Engine Driver"

4. Sufjan Stevens - Come On Feel The Illinois - I'll be honest, I haven't really "listened" to the whole album. I just bought it so I'm not quite qualified to divulge the intricate details of this CD. I have listened to every track and can honestly say that there's nothing that stands out as out of place. Everything just works. It's along the same lines as The Decemberists, but Sufjan just managed to do it better in my opinion. I guess the only I find irratating is the ridiculously long song titles, but if you happen to have more musical talent in your toes than I have in my entire body I guess I'll let it slide.

Standout Tracks: "Come On! Feel The Illinoise!" "They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back From The Dead!! Ahhhh!" "The Tallest Man, The Broadest Shoulders"

3. Motion City Soundtrack - Commit This To Memory - I know I already reviewed this CD a while back and I know everybody who reads this already knows how great it is so I won't reiterate. Here's hoping they don't get as big as Fall Out Boy.

Standout Tracks: "Attractive Today" "Let's Get Fucked Up And Die" "When "You're" Around"

2. Cartel - Chroma - People continually praise Green Day for putting out their new album and bringing back the rock opera by using recurring music and characters throughout the album. Well this album does it better and more rockinous, and although there are no recurring characters that are named, you can pretty much tell that some of the same people have inspired many of the songs. And unlike Green Day these guys don't need to hire another nameless guitarist in order to play their music live. They are absolutely amazing live as well as in the studio, which is a rare occurrence these days. I'm placing all my money on them being the next Fall Out Boy, all their musicians are way more talented and their song and lyric writing is in the same ballpark.

Standout Tracks: "Luckie St." "The Minstrel's Prayer" "Burn This City"

1. a) Bomb the Music Industry! - To Leave Or Die In Long Island - This "band" is absolutely amazing. It's more like a collective of musicians under the direction of a member of now defunct Arrogant Sons of Bitches (RIP). Every single note was recorded, mixed, mastered and produced in the bedrooms and basements of the members of the collective band. It sounds just as good if not better than the garbage being crapped out of million dollar studios these days. There's more to the story. They don't sell any merch. Bring a blank shirt or CD to a show (or send one through the mail) and in return you get a painted shirt that is unique to you and an awesome CD. When they tour they don't take cuts of the cover charge and they sleep on the floors of whoever will offer one and after their latest east coast tour they managed to come out a little above zero on donations alone. So yeah they've got a great mission statement, but what about the music? It just kicks ass, OK? Ska/Punk/Happy Hardcore/Synth Pop awesomeness. It's all about going faster than the speed of light, being angry and above all obnoxious. I love it! Go to www.bombthemusicindustry.com and download all the music, if you don't like it just delete it, it's free anyway, but you at least have to respect the D.I.Y. mantra.

Standout Tracks: "Happy Anterrabae Day!!!" "Dude, Get With The Program" "Congratulations, John, On Joining Every Time I Die"

1. b) Bomb the Music Industry! - Album Minus Band - Yeah so they have 2 albums in the top 10, that's probably because they kick an incredibly large amount of figurative ass. This album barely beats the aforementioned only because it contains 4 more tracks overall and one of the best tracks of the year "Ready... Set... No!!!!"

Standout Tracks: "Ready... Set... No!!!!" "FRRRREEEEE BIIIIIIIRRRRD!!!!!! FRRRRREEEEEEEEE BIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRDDDDD!!!!!!!" "It Ceases To Be 'Whining' If You're Still 'Shitting Blood'"

I'm not gonna lie, there is a disturbing lack of true-blue Ska in this list, with The Aquabats and Bomb The Music Industry! being the closest cousins. Yet there is a light off in the distance. A great light indeed. Streetlight Manifesto and Less Than Jake have finished recording their newest masterpieces and are slated to be released early in 2006. Huzzah!!! Therefore I'm starting my best of 2006 list right now.

2. Streetlight Manifesto - Keasby Nights - Thomas Kalnoky is up there with the likes of Jesus and The Great I Am in songwriting ability; anything that comes off his pen is pure gold as far as I'm concerned. When he was the front man of Catch 22 (who are also rumored to be working on a new CD) he wrote one of the greatest ska songs ever entitled "Keasby Nights", and I'm assuming this new album with his new band will play hand in hand with that song.

1. Less Than Jake - In With The Out Crowd - As many of you may or may not know, these guys are by far my favorite band ever. What I'm hearing is that this new album will be more ska than their last album which was made to satisfy the goons at Warner Brothers Records. From the short clips I've heard it sounds like a very different kind of ska, very dark and mechanical it seems. I dunno what to expect, but I do know that it will be very good. It may not be the best album ever produced, but LTJ has yet to produce an album that ranks below average.

Let the Awkwardness Ensue

2005-12-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

I should write about something, but I don't know what to write about.

I bought 6 new CDs of pure awesomeness yesterday, it's gonna take a while to absorb it all, this makes me happy. Maybe I'll review my top 10 records of 05? Sounds like work though.

Apparantly I'm too distracted to update. Tonite is gonna be super awkward.

A Case of the Mondays

2005-12-14T19:04:00.000-07:00

Monday was so terrible I almost lost it. Vector Calc final from 2-4pm then Honors Bio final from 5-7pm. Not to mention I lost my O Chem textbook sometime between then and the Wednesday before. I checked all the buildings I normally go to with no luck so I tried to buy a new one. The bookstore was out so I went to the used one and they managed to pull up the completely wrong book and I laughed at them. It then proceeded to rain on my sorry ass. I managed to find my prof who lent me a spare book which was great cause I got to go home right after my 2 finals. I'll still have to replace the book sometime before next semester but at least I can come home and "study" instead of staying in Tucson and whoring somebody else's book. I'll drive back down for my last final on Friday from 11-2pm then I am so done and I'm driving straight back home.

My birthday is tomorrow and I dont care, turning 20 is so terribly depressing. I'm now old but have none of the perks that go with it, more specifically I can't go down to the liquor store and purchase a large bottle of Jack after days like Monday. You should just be able to be 18 for three years then be 21.

The only thing that excited me about my birthday was getting my iPod, but my mom is going to be out of town so I already got it. I did manage to rip an episode of Band of Brothers onto it already, after trying a few methods I found one that works well. I seriously don't understand why I can't just rip the DVD onto my computer like a CD, I bought it so just let me digitize it already.

I guess I'm going to go see Bad Credit and The Aquabats tomorrow. I'd be more excited for a ska/comedy birthday show if The Aquabats hadn't completely retooled their line-up. I guess as long as the MC Bat Commander and his mustache are still in charge (and they play Giant Robot Birdhead and Super Rad!) it'll be an outrageous show.

As soon as O Chem is done life will be right as rain, I promise.

Sodium Ortho Boom Boom

2005-12-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

I'm stooping to new lows. I don't know which is worse, spending your friday night studying O Chem or going to sleep at 10 pm on Friday cause your brain can't study O Chem any longer. My lack of social life is disturbing. I'm sure I could call some people, but I hate inviting myself to do things with other people. Since I'm not doing anything, I can't exactly invite people to participate in my nothingness. It seems so rude.

I can't even play guitar right now cause I'm so burnt out. 2 lab reports due, a 1 hour practical final in O Chem Lab, 30 minute multiple choice common final in O Chem lab, 90 minute cumulative written final in the same lab, Calc quiz, and last Bio exam of the year. How was your Thursday and Friday?

Thinking about my O Chem exam on Monday makes my head sad.

Hooray for Tylenol PM!

Kablooey!

2005-11-21T21:23:00.000-07:00

I pretty much blew my wad with 3 updates in 3 days and now look at me 3 weeks later with no new blogs!

So busy, I should write lots and lots, but too busy. I will say though that I must have hurt a very small muscle in my back somehow. It pretty much feels like someone took a steel marble and put it in the oven for a bit then surgically inserted it into my back right underneath my shoulder blade. I wouldn't say it really hurts all that much, it's just become a real annoyance. Probably from too much strumma strumma on the guitar, so I decided to go to guitar group anyway, even though I should be studying and healing.

So I have a Vector Calc exam tomorrow morning then I'm basically free. I just gotta sit through some 5 minute presentations in the afternoon and then go to PCM from 6-8 pm and then I'm goin straight home.

Fuck Wednesdays and Fuck Pants!

That's right I said it...

Luke Out!

2005-11-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

Holy shit updates!

I totally made today a half day of sorts. Slept through 8 am Vector Calc. Then instead of going to my 11am English 101 class and noon O Chem lecture I spent the mid morning and early afternoon on a protest march for the 1 year anniversary of Dubya's reelection. We started at the middle of campus then made our way a couple miles towards the downtown area of Tucson. It was an interesting experience, but now at least I can say I've done something to express my dislike of what's goin on 'round these parts. I've got some crappy photos and a video I'm in the process of web-ercizing.

I'm thinking I wanna take my 3 day Vetren's Day weekend and take a trip back to Mines. If I do go I'll probably have to make it a 4-5 day weekend since I'm estimating it to be a 14 hour drive, including breaks, from down here according to mapquest. Now we all know I'm awesome but thats one hell of a drive for one person, and since I have no friends, yeah. I'll ask around I guess, but I don't imagine there are gonna be any takers especially if it requires missing an extra day or two of school. We'll see.

Shut Up

2005-11-01T17:38:00.000-07:00

OK this shit has been going around lately and it has got to stop right now, so for future reference never say the following:

"1 + 1 = 3 for very large values of 1." (or something to that effect)

This is usually followed by some asinine example of how it "works". (Like fat people sitting in airplanes and how if 2 fat people sit in one row of 3 seats, then effectively 2 people now equal 3).

First of all 1 + 1 = 4 for very large numbers of one. Stupid fuckers. Don't try to attack math if you haven't taken Calculus yet, there's no flaw to be found in math, as far as I'm concerned math is infallible. It's a simple limit problem and anyone who reads this already knows that, but you guys are intelligent people and wouldn't dare say something this stupid now would you?

Secondly there is no explanation for saying this at all, it's not mind boggling or interesting, at all. Just don't even talk about your amazing discovery (that some random person probably told you) until you understand what is actually going on. In this case nothing is going on and now you look stupid, and at this point it's probably safe for me to assume you voted for George Bush and believe in Intelligent Design or some other such nonsensical bullshit.

I'm Enjoying The Grass Right Here

2005-10-31T22:50:00.000-07:00

So I'm pretty sure that I can't ever go to a concert just to see Fall Out Boy anymore, I dunno but we'll see what happens the next time they show their faces around my part of town. It kinda sucks really. It's a little like breaking up I think. They've been one of my bands since the summer of 2003 when they toured with Less Than Jake. I've seen them 4 times since then, which is more than any other band by a couple shows I think. But now they've crossed a line that I'm not sure I can cross myself. I don't know if I can see myself standing side by side with a bunch of 14 year old girls who were listening to Jason Mraz while Fall Out Boy was writing their best material. I know they're trying to be true to their most loyal of fans by playing songs like "Moving Pictures" but thats really not enough. Once you've crossed over onto MTV you can't really drag the entire scene with you. It's not like I blame them for selling out all hardcore-like, I completely understand and it's actually one of the things I'd like to do before I die. Basically you have your choice to stay on an indie label and a make pile of money and show up on MTV2 every once in a while or you can sign with a huge label and make a metric fuckton of money. The choice is pretty easy unless you're the most loyal of heart.

Their newest CD is still pretty good, cept the bullshit songs they decided were gonna be the hit singles, and the brilliant idea they had to have Patrick Stumph sing like a normal human being instead of like a god. I still like the music just not the idea that I have to share them with people who wouldn't know real unengineered non-pop music if it took a shit all over their brand new skate shoes and cadet hats. (I'm still wearing my Vans and commie bastard hat until further notice...)

On the plus side the real reason I attended the concert in the first place, Motion City Soundtrack, is still an amazing band. They said they would be out at the merch booth to talk to fans but I only talked to Joshua Cain and got to shake the hand of the one and only Justin "Pointy Hair" Pierre (I dunno if he's not allowed to actually speak cause I never heard him say a word to anyone, but he does get to walk around with some evil-lookin bodyguard). I really wanted to meet Jesse Johnson, but I didn't see him around before we headed back in for FOB.

So go on and enjoy yourself some MCS, but beware of screaming preteens when FOB gets on. I've never been to an N'SYNC show but I'm sure thats what they sound like most of the time.

/end of fun with links

Attention, Attention May I Have All of Your Eyes and Ears to the Front of the Room

2005-10-19T20:16:00.000-06:00

I said I hated Wednesdays, and I usually do, this one just turned out to be so good. It makes me just wanna play super happy ska music all night long till the break of dawn. So here goes my happy list:

1) (This carries over from last night but it made me happy all day) Had a great/long/deep/funny/everything conversation with someone I hadn't talked to for a good while.

2) Finished all of the Crossword puzzle today, lately I've been getting down to 4-5 blanks and getting stuck.

3) Got an (sincere) apology from someone just as I was started to think it wouldn't come. I think it was probably the being so happy that I had recieved it and happily forgiving the person that feels so good.

4) (Sincerely) apologized to someone for my own stupidities, boy that feels great sometimes, especially when they understand and forgive you.

5) I won an authentic autographed by the whole band Fall Out Boy - "Take This To Your Grave" CD!(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) We've been having a battle of the bands on the mall for a couple days and in between bands the host guy gives out free stuff if you do something that he asks. I was asked to compete with the lead singer girl from the upcoming band to see who could sing any line from any FOB song better. It wasn't really fair cause the only FOB song she **knew was "Sugar We're Going Down". I tried the first verse of "Where Is Your Boy", but I don't know how I sang since I couldn't hear with the band tuning and making noise behind me and the lack of a moniter. But I do know that I was better than her and thats all that counts. What's even more awesome is that this is the only CD of theirs that I never actually bought, I just have a burned copy cause I wanted to hear them before I spent any of my own money.

6) Got out of Biology Lab, which is scheduled for 3 hours, after only an hour of playing with pipecleaners. I love my TA so much, not only does she give us answers and tons of advice, but she's incredibly beautiful and I just kinda sit there along with all the other guys and think about policies regarding Student-Teacher relations...

**She didn't really know, she knew the melody but she totally botched the actual lyrics

Interesting If Not Overused Title

2005-10-16T00:01:00.000-06:00

It's amazing how so much can change and you can still be stuck in the same rut.

I think I've done enough damage for one week, now time to rest on my laurels.

My Head A Splode

2005-10-12T17:51:00.000-06:00

It's almost overwhelming. Life is drowning me up to my nostrils. I continually remember assignments the day before they are due, in the case of O Chem I remember to do my homework the day before, it just turned out that I did the numbered problems in the text instead of from the end of the chapter. Hooray for extended due dates. My life will basically become O Chem until Friday at noon it seems, I figure about 7 hours of work ought to get all my O Chem needs satisfied right now. At least I get to go to the Free Agent play day for IM Volleyball tonight, I'm so busy its hard to get to excited though, I probably don't even have the hour to spare right now. I hate Wednesdays.

I guess I could (should? does anyone really want to hear it?) write of more girl problems and awkwardness based on the last couple days, but Bio Lab starts in 10 minutes.

Ciao

Here Come The Pills Again

2005-10-05T11:08:00.000-06:00

Calc exam in 8 hours and who doesn't know anything about triple integrals? That'd be me.

In other news I think I just figured out the most ironic thing ever. What if you were to commit suicide by OD-ing on Prozac? Isn't that just sick? I think its cause I just finished watching Fight Club and now I'm all philisophical. Or maybe I'm just sick.

In even more other news I'm still gutless. Its never one of those I missed the moment cause I didn't recognize it, its one of those I saw the moment and I slowly left through the back door. Some fucker I am.

"One day I'll have the moment in one hand and the nerve in the other and I won't be afraid of the consequences when I give you my round of applause."

Full Steam In My Head

2005-10-02T22:47:00.000-06:00

It's now been 6 weeks since I started college at the University of Arizona. Seems like it was a couple days ago I was bitching about last month's rent check.

I'm driving the interstate while time drives the other side of the median.

The weeks seem so slow but when Friday afternoon comes I can't even distinguish Monday from Tuesday. Then the weekend goes by even faster. I have no idea what is going on in my life anymore.

Two weeks from tomorrow I'm going in for a blood test. Two weeks from tomorrow + 3 days-ish my doctor will call me and tell me I have hypothyroidism. You heard it here first. Which is bullshit because I had to miss my entire junior of baseball because I may or may not have had hyperthyroidism.

(From here on down it shall be known that I'm NOT trying to brag I just need to figure this shit out before I fuck it all up...)

On a semi lighter note I've had the privilege of going out with two girls right now. You may think thats fairly awesome, but you know don't know shit, which is why this is only a semi lighter note. Here's the gist of the situation:

There's this first girl, let's call her Megan and another we'll call Kara. Just two random names out of the hat (damnit why hasn't anybody invented the sarcasm font yet..?)

Kara is basically me if I were born a female. I met her at the Presbyterian Campus Ministry, she is a friend of a girl from my church back home. We have the same weird sense of humor, religious beliefs, music tastes (which is incredibly hard since my taste in music ranges from Styx to I Voted For Kodos to Flogging Molly), same almost everything. I think she's gonna be my concert buddy for a long time coming. And now I know she really likes me since I've begun receiving a fairly large supply of daily text messages. Kara is basically me if I were born a female, except she's better looking and an Astrophysicist (seriously we have one of those majors here).

Megan has managed to continually surprise me for about 5 weeks now. I met Megan while I was sitting at a table outside of the Union doing my homework when she randomly asks if she can join me. Two days later I happen to see her doing her homework outside of the computer commons, where as I was getting my phone out to ask for her number she totally beat me to it and asked me first. Surprise number 1. She is incredibly, incredibly, unbelievably beautiful and has absolutely no reason for going out with me in that respect. Surprise number 2. After every single one of our dates she has demanded that I call her the next weekend, and has consequently caused me to abandon plans to go home for supplies this weekend so I could go out with her on Saturday. Surprise number 3. We happened to be in the same place at the same time yet again on Friday and I told her that I was planning on going to The New Pornographers show until my friends decided to go back home. She promptly suggested that I take her instead, and I know for a fact that she has never even heard of those particular Canadians before. Surprise 3. She tends to dress more fashionably than most girls, though not to the point where the fashion is just ridiculous and that's why its fashionable, and I found out that she has a pair of pink Chucks. Serious surprise number 4. Not only is she beautiful but she's smart as well. She's a Pre-Nursing major, which makes her smarter than me because she gets to have a career where she can help people w/o the extra years of schooling. I don't wanna sound all emo but I really have no right to be with her at all.

So there's Kara who seems to be a good match for me and then there's Megan who is probably too good for me. It seems they both like me and enjoy the time we spend together equally as much as I enjoy my time with them. What's the problem you say? Friends.

I'm fairly sure Megan isn't interested in a boyfriend right now, since she told me she just broke up with her boyfriend so she could be single in college (she's a freshman). I'm also fairly sure that Kara would be more than happy to have a boyfriend right now and I seem to be her number one target (which I don't mind). So now all of Kara's friends have been on my case about when I'm going to "make my move" or other such nonsensical language. But if I do ask her to be more than a girl I'm going out with then I'd morally and ethically be resigned to not seeing Megan anymore.

I really don't want to stop seeing Megan for all the above reasons (and she always seems to have a good supply of cheap wine and it makes me feel like I'm living in a Motion City Soundtrack song). But I also don't want Kara (most likely under the influence of her friends) to grow old of my "not making my move"ishness and just give up on me.

I wish I was 4 again and I could just yell, "I DON"T WANNA!!" and people would be cool with that.

Time For Another Change of Major

2005-09-26T23:56:00.000-06:00

I just spent this entire night writing music, which is way better than studying for my O Chem exam this Friday.

Basically this is how it went:

Actually I don't know how it went, but two people wrote song lyrics for me and I crafted some guitar parts to go along with them. I love them.

Here's what you need to do:

Write a poem or some lyrics or something anything whatever and send them to me. I will in turn write a guitar part for it and hopefully figure out a melody. Then you can say you are a songwriter, and I don't have to unveil any of my shitty lyrics to the world.

With Regards To My Regrets

2005-09-21T22:10:00.000-06:00

Last week demolished my ass. Vector Calc exam. Bio exam. O Chem Lab report. Bio lab report. English essay final draft.

The weekend tried it's hardest to make up for it. Slept till 1pm on Saturday, that would be the first time I've slept past 9am in a very long time. Ventured to check out The Decemberists concert round 7. It wildly exceeded my expectations, mostly because of the company kept. I figured it would be a "stand there for hours and stare up at the band till your neck hurts" concert (which it was), but not in a bad way. Their music wasn't bad (or boring) at all and they put on a good show. I laughed a lot when their lead singer forgot the words to the songs and dropped his guitar pick.

One thing I do hate these days is how every headlining band has to do an "encore". You know what I'm talkin' bout. That stupid crap where the band walks off for a minute and everyone just stands there cause we all know they're coming back. It's |4m3. I haven't seen a real encore since the I Voted For Kodos show last summer. They weren't the last band (I don't know why) so they had to ask the last band (who basically comprised the entire front row of fans and were very much a part of the "one more song" chant) if they could play more and they continued to rock faces off for 3 more songs. Well at least The Decemberists 2 encore songs didn't suck. The drummer and guy who plays every instrument known to man spent the entirety of the first song wandering through the crowd with a bass drum and 2 cymbals. They stopped and were rolling around on the ground about a yard from my feet. I laughed some more.

Afterwards we hung around town till 4 am were we ended up all falling asleep in my room listening to the recently purchased Decemberists CD along with some acoustic Fall Out Boy.

That was basically the important stuff I guess. Any time not described was spent either sleeping or watching football and definitely not doing homework.

So I Lied

2005-09-13T15:04:00.000-06:00

So much I could say at the moment.

Two tests this week and I can't bring myself to study. I did sit down and hash out some of my O Chem lab report though. When I say some, I really mean very little. I cannot for the life of me get motivated for anything that doesn't have 6 strings and make loud noises. I've found that my computer has much to do with this, and I've also found that leaving it turned off helps me to concentrate. Just sitting in front of it makes me want to surf the internet among other things.

There's no use in trying to retell my life since school started so I guess I could just start with the weekend. I need the weekend to come so bad. Friday afternoon was amazing and I spent it alone in the apartment doing whatever I wanted. I dunno, I just need my alone time I guess, it made 8 hours go by so fast. Saturday was spent watching football and relaxing. After I obtained my Zona Zoo Pass I attented the football game with a friend for a while. When they say Zoo, they fucking mean zoo. Student section seating is crazy mostly due to the general admission part. Ventured over to a coffee shop after the 3rd quarter had ended to hang out for a while. Later on we ventured out in search of a party or something of the sort to no avail, so we spent the rest of the night drinking cheap wine and talking. Quite a night of adventuring and I enjoyed it a lot. Sunday was spent watching the Broncos lose followed by the Cardinals loss. I figured I ought to do some work so I rammed my face into O Chem for a couple 3 hours. Turns out that some of the problems we were assigned were ridiculously hard/almost impossible as demonstrated by the fact my prof couldn't figure out one of them.

Good weekend.

I've already been to a couple concerts and will be attending The Decemberists show on Saturday I guess. I only know one song of theirs, but it's a chance to hang out with friends and hopefully hear some good muzak. I have also just recently purchased my ticket for the most seriously awesome concert to rock your face off this fall. Huzzah!

More later I guess.

Ciao

Empty Promises

2005-09-09T00:17:00.000-06:00

I promise a massive update over the weekend, this is the first time that I won't have to go back home to collect things. But for now there's this:

PARIS, France --

Lance Armstrong's record setting seventh Tour de France victory, along
with his entire Tour de France legacy, may be tarnished by what could
turn out to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time.

Armstrong is being quizzed by French police after three banned
substances were found in his South France hotel room while on vacation
after winning the 2005 Tour de France.

The three substances found were toothpaste, deodorant, and soap which
have been banned by French authorities for over 75 years.

Armstrong's girlfriend, American rocker Sheryl Crowe, is quoted as
saying "We use them every day in America, so we naturally thought they'd
be ok throughout Europe."

Along with these three banned substances, French authorities also
physically searched Armstrong and found several other items that they
had never seen before, including a backbone and a testicle.

Will making fun of the French ever get old? I don't think so.

I'm Making That Sound Again

2005-08-29T21:13:00.000-06:00

I should really update this thing for real, but I definitely got dogpiled on by the professional wrestlers known as O Chem, English 101 and Biology Lab.

But for today I'll leave you with a band recommendation for all you Motion City Soundtrack fans out there. They may as well be MCS's little sibling as far as I'm concerned, even originating from the same Minneapolis area. They are Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer. They were one of the opening acts when I went to see Reel Big Fish and Catch 22 and were definitely very spunky. I think you'll enjoy them a lot, so break out your favorite Napster clone program and get out on the interweb already!

Happen Already!

2005-08-10T21:28:00.000-06:00

I need a band so bad right now. As soon as said band happens, we are playing a ska/reggae cover of Garth Brook's "Friends In Low Places".

T'shall be awesome.

Smile

2005-08-08T08:13:00.000-06:00

I only watch the news when it rains. I just wanna know if it's gonna rain on me. When it rains, that's all they talk about, back from commercial and straight to the weatherman. It makes me wonder what they do when it doesn't rain.

The Postal Service is great music for driving home at night while it's raining. For whatever reason that I can't explain, it's just the mood that presents itself.

I have a new home for the next nine months now. It's wonderful, if maybe a mite bit expensive. I think I'm almost excited to go back to school, that has never happened before and let me tell you, it is fuckin scary.

Only four more days of work! I need a vacation.

TGIT

2005-08-04T16:21:00.000-06:00

So this was my day at work (this is not my day in a nutshell):

I read through the first 317 comics and rants of Questionable Content. Good stuff. Very good stuff. I had looked through the Recommended Listening link a couple days ago and found some awesome music that I had never heard before. You should do the same.

Tomorrow. Me. Old Man. Roadtrip. Tucson. Getting much shit figured out. May bleed over onto Saturday.

Thank God it's Thursday. Have weekend good!

Pay Attention To Me

2005-08-02T10:00:00.000-06:00

Got a nice fat packet of paperwork that says I got accepted to U of A yesterday. All my credits transfered except for CSM 101, that means even PA got transfered as an elective credit. Odd, but I'm not complaining. Once I talk to my advisor on Friday I'll be able to register for classes and be pretty much set.

Work makes me want to die. I'm gonna have to work from 5:30 to 5 today in order to make up for the time I missed going to the doctor's office yesterday. We'll see how that works, everybody will be gone by then maybe I'll just leave at 4:30 or whatever.

Speaking of the doctor's office, Dr. Seiter tells me that I have and have had a sinus infection for a while now. I had narrowed it down to either a sinus infection or a large brain tumor pressing into the front of my skull. I've got this med school thing down pat already.

I hate how some people change so much when things get personal. When you talk to someone over the phone or online, that person can act completely different when you speak to them in person. Like they need to put on an act when it's personal or another when it's impersonal. So
which person is real? I hope I don't do that.

Today is going by really slow. I wish I had something more entertaining to do. Good thing I only have 7 hours with a lunch break to go...

Oi

2005-07-27T16:43:00.000-06:00

Argh! The stupid U of A people lost all my transcripts. Now I have to run around and collect them all again. Luckily I accidently had a second one from Mines sent down while the first one got overnighted straight to U of A. I guess the whole transfer thing just became a little less for sure. As soon as they get the new set of transcripts it shouldn't take long for them to get processed, my mother and I have been calling them repeatedly.

An academic advisor mentioned that I can still get into Organic Chemistry this semester, but the Biology class has a wait list right now. She also mentioned that the waitlisted students sometimes get absorbed into the class anyway.

So I sent all the transcripts down yesterday and they should get sped through the process and I guess I'll get accepted tomorrow (I think thats what she said). Then I can register for classes and continue loking for housing. I guess my cousin may be transferring into U of A too so I may at least have a roomate, yay!

RandomXcore

2005-07-20T14:45:00.000-06:00

Prelude: I'm enjoying the fact that the only times I update are during work hours.

In Other News: I need help. Mentally that is. People are not my "bag" so to say. I don't get people. But once I get know people I get to thinking for them. I think about what they think about me.

Life Lesson Just Recently Learned: I can run and chew gum, but I can't run and play guitar, or chew gum and sing.

Emoness: Ever get that feeling that you've been replaced? Like you were once a big part of someone's life, but suddenly became ostracized? And for no apparent reason either (which is why it's only a feeling). It's only a feeling (I hope) I guess.

Postlude: Love is only a feeling. Or was it... Love is more than a feeling?

Once For Everytime I Wanted To Stick A Fork In My Arm

2005-07-18T12:30:00.000-06:00

Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress
Stress
Stress
Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress
Stress
Stress
Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress

Would You Hate Me Forever?

2005-07-14T08:09:00.000-06:00

Life just got infinitely more complicated, and a spider just dropped from the ceiling onto my arm... Anyway, I don't imagine any of you are going to be happy with what I'm about to say.

I'm about ready to pull a DC.

I was planning on transferring to U of A after the Fall 05 semester cause I had assumed it was to late to get in this fall. Turns out that they've extended the deadline for transfer students to get their applications in to August 1. So if I can get my shit together in the next couple weeks I can transfer now since I know I'm going to anyway. I just need to figure out the whole housing thing and I should be fine.

I figure on getting into the Biochem and Molecular Physics major before moving on to Med School. I really want to do medical research, finding a cure for cancer (don't we all) etc., but I also think I'd enjoy being a doctor too. I don't know what I want to pursue yet. I wanna start taking Spanish again, if I can find my AP Spanish stuff I should be able to transfer 12 credits, which means I'd be 8 credits (I think) away from a minor, but I just want to be fluent.

I dunno. It mostly seems to be depending on the housing situation (hooray for more "housing situations"). If I can't find a reasonable place to live, then I can't go to school there. I may just stay the extra semester and avoid the hassle, it seems that every class I'm taking except Thermo will be needed at U of A. Although I think I need to get into Bio lab, so maybe I'll drop Thermo for that.

I'm freaking out, I don't want to be at work right now, it's harder to do the research I need to do.

Huzzuh!

2005-07-13T11:30:00.000-06:00

Awesome!!! I just won 3 games of solitaire in a row.

The saddest part is I actually have legitimate work to do, I just don't feel like playing with spiders in the shed while looking for dirt sample trays.

To-Do List:

Make Flickr account
Change contacts
Go to gym
Stop bringing spiders into cubicle
Kill spiders that are already in cubicle

Doest Thy Charity In Secret

2005-07-12T12:20:00.000-06:00

Whoa! The weekend cruised by like a Porsche on the Freeway, or something.

Jury duty didn't suck after all, except I had to wake up early. Read my book for an hour then they reached an agreement so we got to go, and that counts as our jury duty. I'm prety sure there were 2 people there who I vaguely remembered from middle school or something. I was tempted to ask them but everyone was making mad dashes for their vehicles, oh well.

Saturday woke up way too early for a Saturday and drove to Red Rock, AZ to meet with some people from Humane Borders at 6:45. We then proceeded to drive what was supposed to be an hour off road, turns out we missed the gate and made it a 2 hour journey instead. Dirty car pictures to be posted once I have enough time to sign up for Flickr. We finally arrived at a wash where we proceeded to fill bags with garbage left by illegal immigrants on their way to the Pheonix area. We even met a group of them and gave them food and water. I met one guy on accident who was totally freaking out. We found lots of pants and backpacks and such, and I had thought I had found a pair of jeans inside a bush. Turned to be an immigrant who was pretty much inside this nasty, thorny bush and his eyes were freaking huge with fear, scared the crap out of both of us. We filled 23 big garbage bags with trash, and had 2 more bags full of clothes that could be washed and given to Goodwill or another organization like that. Another hour of 4 wheel drive back to the highway then back home in the early afternoon. I was beat and don't remember the rest of the day.

Sunday up early to be at church at 7:30 (was supposed to be there at 7:15) to set up and play both services. Jam sessions and donuts in between the services. Afterwards got pizza, went to Scotty's house to eat swim and get sunburned for a while. Onwards to Aaron's to paly Scene It! and watch Dave Chapelle stand up. Left a little early for steak dinner with the old people who I happen to live with. Left that early to pick up Spencer and head to Four White Walls for the Workshirt Wonder and The Rightaways show. Good times. There were only about 25 people total in the little room there, and one of them happened to be a guy who probably hates me with a passion. I've never spoken a word to him and have only been that close to him once before. But I'm assuming he doesn't like me based mostly on the fact that I kinda sorta stole his girlfriend at one point. I didn't tell her to break up with him or anything, she did it on her own. We didn't last that long anyway. So that was awkward, I'd smile at him and try to look friendly whenever I caught his glance but he just looked away really quickly. I didn't make any attempts to talk to him since I had plenty of my own friends to talk to and he just acted like I wasn't there most of the time. Spencer sketched out an awesome little pen sketch in about 2 minutes related to a conversation we were having. The lumberjack deer wearing flannel amused me beyond belief. I wish I had some artistic talent like that. The show was great, WsW have crazy fun whenever they play. One of my best friends is their interim bassist until they have auditions, but I think he'll be the permenant bassist when that happens. So I bought their CD since I haven't been able to see them play since they released it, and it was only $10. Pretty cheap considering their gutarist is sponsered and their lead singer is working on his minor in Opera right now. Then home late in time for 5 hours of sleep, maybe, before work on Monday.

Current mood: Yay for waiting for awkward phone calls that probably won't come, but if they do, will be awkward!

Punk In Drublic

2005-07-07T17:41:00.000-06:00

Guess who has to wake up at 6:45 on their day off to go in for jury duty... Bastards. (I'd probably wake up about then anyway, but I'd like to think I could sleep in to at least 8 or something).

The automated message says I should bring something warm to wear since the courtroom tends to be cold. Apparently I'm also encouraged to bring a book cause there's some "downtime"*. I'm wishing I had an Ipod like none other right now.

I think I'm gonna put together the most punk/emo/ska scenester outfit possible just for kicks.

Team "Do You Want Fries With That?" In The Lead

2005-07-05T08:19:00.000-06:00

This weekend was super fantastic, I guess the only thing I wish I coulda done was sleep more, but since I no longer have the ability to sleep for more than 8 hours blah blah blah.

Friday got up early to go golfing with my dad. There weren't many people out on the course so we went through fairly quickly. I had apparantly forgotten how to golf so I sucked hard for a while, but played a little better towards the end. Ate some real Mexican food for lunch. Stopped to visit Aaron at Safeway since that place is now run by Nazis and hes quitting and I wanted a cheap sandwich but I couldn't wait so I had to leave. Met Matt and screwed around for a couple hours till he had to work. Cleaned up and hung out with Jeremy the rest of the night, played some games, watch Family Guy episodes, AFV and pizza.

Had the chance to sleep in on Saturday. Went to bed at 1 and woke up at 8:30 ish. Yay... Dad asked if I would mow the lawn after he edged it, said I would. An hour later he comes back in to give me crap about not helping him. I gave him crap about there only being one edger. Then he tells me he mowed the lawn already. Then I got pissed cause he never bothered to come get me and now he's mad at me. Stupid... Kinda sat around the rest of the day till I had to go to the gym for my appointment. I guess they have to give everybody a little overview of the machines and such before they set you loose. So I had to do cardio, abs, chest, back, triceps, biceps, quads, hammys, and calves. Stupid crap, I thought I was gonna throw up, but I survived somehow. Something happened that night but I don't remember who all was involved or anything pertinent. Got home at 1 ish again, had to wake up for church at 9:30. Didn't bother to set an alarm since I knew I'd wake up in 8 hours anyway.

Woke up after 7.5 hours. Church. Took Scotty and we went and collected our guitars, amps and his keyboard. Ventured to Aaron's for the cast party for a musical our church put on. Pizza, chips, soda and animal crackers for all. Watched some Monty Python's Flying Circus episodes, then the DVD of the play. Everyone had to leave after that so Aaron, Scotty and I had a little jam session in Aaron's little 8' by 12' "music room". Just enough room for a guitar, bass and drumset. So much fun and so much noise. We spent some time trying to figure out what songs we wanted to play for the concert that we are going to have before I have to leave.

Monday woke up early to golf again. Went for breakfast with my grandparents, then Dad, Grandpa and I went out to golf. This time my dad forgot how to play, or maybe it was because it was so slow, but I definitely beat him, which never happens cause he golfs all the time. Got a super sun burn on my legs for the 2 days of golfing, its pretty good cause the sock line is really well defined. Had to go to a party later on, I used to be best friends with the kid when he was my neighbor, but then he moved a half mile away and he kinda turned into a jerk/druggie. His mother and mine still volunteer together at Valley Big Brothers Big Sisters. I tried to be friendly but he didn't seem to be interested. Ditched that crap after about 45 minutes. Met Matt at Burger King and then browsed through the video store. Nothing worth paying money to see. Back to his house and Peru arrived. Then Seth. Then Jeremy, Dan, and David. Then Tom and Andrew. Started a massive Monopoly game. Then Spencer and Arch arrived and somebody had played their turn (we made them a team or something) and they were kicking ass. But it didn't matter. Eventually it was down to Seth and I. He had the Reds and Pinks with hotels on them and like $15K. I had every other property on the board, but only the Greens, Oranges had hotels, Boardwalk and Park Place had a couple houses on them and everything else was mortgaged for all the people I had taken out. Since I didn't have enough money to unmortgage and still be able to survive a hotel hit, we agreed that I would have won had we been able to play for another 8 hours and I conceded a draw of sorts.

Then I got 4 hours of sleep and fuck work...

"How Can I Make More Money? Life's Empty Without Money!"

2005-06-28T14:32:00.000-06:00

Been so busy lately its hard to update. I don't really remember what exactly I've been doing. The weekend went way fast, like it always does.

I did see the movie "Crash" though. It was really really good. None of the 4 people who went knew anything about it, cept that it had gotten good reviews. So we decided that it couldn't be worse than any of the other crappy movies and it worked out great. You should all go see it, but here's the catch: Do not do any research to figure out what the movie is about or anything like that before you go. Go in with an open mind, I promise it'll be the best $7 you'll spend in a long while.

Yesterday I did 15 minutes of actual work during my 10 hour day, good times. I also went to Pure Fitness for the first time and got set up with a personal trainer and a workout routine. They want me to buy some supplements and such to help compliment the program, but I'm not eating very healthy or much at all right now and I don't expect that to change when school starts, so I don't think I'll be shelling out any money. I just wanted access to the weights and a place I can run and not die of heat stroke.

I got my second paycheck today, $549.23 for 40 hours before the government starting stealing my money, jerks. $468.85 afterwards. The only reason I tolerate this place...

I Should Just Buy Lots of Hats

2005-06-20T17:40:00.000-06:00

OK, so here's the question and debate of the week. This upcoming weekend, I will be most likely be getting a hair cut of some kind, it may just be a trim or all of it may come off. This is where you, the people who must look at me, come in.

What the eff do I do with the hair?!

It's long enough to be cut into almost anything you can think of. Or I could keep growing it out some more for an even hippier look.

OK, here are the rules for suggestions:

1. If you can find one, pictures are very helpful, unless it's something I've already done or whatever, I'll shut up now...

2. There will be no mention of the words mullet/afro/completely bald/80s metal hair/flock of seagulls/Mr T. cut unless you can provide a reasonable suggestion for an actual hair cut and/or a hilarious picture of said bad haircut.

3. Everything else will be taken into consideration.

That Darned Intertron Has Been Down

2005-06-19T20:03:00.000-06:00

Honduras was great. For other reasons than I imagined, but great nonetheless.

Friday we left around noon and stayed the night in Miami. Took about 2.5 hours to get our whole group from the Miami airport to the hotel (like 2 miles). Apparently Days Inn vans can only pick up people going to their specific Days Inn, seems pretty retarded to me, but the other 2 vans from the other hotels just kept driving by while our guy took forever for some reason. This particular Days Inn happened to have as its restaurant, a Salsa dance club. Since it took forever to get to the hotel from the airport, we had to eat our dinner in the place while it had its raging Friday night club stuff going on. It was a late night needless to say, not really the kind of music I want rammed into my head at midnight after a 5 hour plane ride.

Saturday, left for Tegucigalpa. When we arrived we jumped on our school bus and headed out towards the ranch. About 10 minutes later, the group from Georgia's bus broke down, so they had to pile into ours, which wasn't easy. So some people had to stand for the 3 hour bump-riddled bus ride till we got to our hotel in Juticalpa. The hotel was really nice, I was really surprised. They had a giant pool, AC, cable TV, the works. It also had a little indoor soccer stadium across the street. Which is really just a little turf plot surrounded by chain link and some bleachers.

Sunday, drove another 3 hours with a packed bus to make it to the ranch. Set up in the same dorms as 3 years ago. The bugs weren't near as bad as before, not anywhere close. The last couple days I didn't even bother to put on bug repellant. Later on we went to visit the village that we worked at 3 years ago. It was good, very emotional when they remembered a lot of us who had been before. We gave them a photo album of our last trip as well as some awesome watercolors that one of guys painted, they were paintings of pictures we had taken that looked just like the pictures. Dave is so good.

We were about to work in a little suburb really of a pretty decent sized town, a lot different than 3 years ago. Last time we were working with a village that had no running water anywhere, they had to carry water in buckets from the river to wherever it was needed. Most houses had mud brick walls and dirt floors. They really needed and appreciated our help and I loved that. This new "barrio" was completely different. All the houses had running water, and almost all had electricity. There were tons of TVs with cable and a decent amount of telephones. There was one woman, who had 3 kids in high school or the one college in the country, who even had a computer and a printer. They really didn't seem to need our help as much and our group didn't get as much out of it either. So anyway

Monday was our first day working. We arrived and they had a massive banner and tons of people waiting at the church. Then all the kids sang songs for us. We tried to sing some of our own, but with the short notice, it was a pretty weak effort. It was funny. I spent the morning working at Carlos' house with Kristen, Caroline and my grandfather. There were 5 Hondurans working with us and they didn't have a whole lot of work since we only had 4 shovels and 9 people. Kristen and Caroline left to get some actual work done at the church. So my grandfather and I helped level the floor with dirt, then mix the cement and shovel it into the house. They weren't quite finished when we had to leave for lunch, but I think they finished while we were gone. In the afternoon I went with Nichole and Dave Matthews (the awesome painter) to a different house. We helped make some of the cement (weird process of making a volcano kinda mound out of the cement powder and sand, then filling the volcano with water and slowly mixing. A tad different than around here.) It was fun because we got to play with a couple of the kids who lived there and who were fascinated by digital cameras. There was also a pretty cute young girl who was 16, but she already had a 1 year old daughter, a little culture shock right there. After we finished the floor in that house we moved down the street to help another group. We got to hang out and visit with a pet parrot before we left for the evening.

On Tuesday the construction groups helped with latrines, kinda. The holes had already been made, the next step was making a big concrete box. The problem is that only one person fits in the hole at a time, so it was hard to really feel like I was helping. I went out with Hillary who is possibly the coolest 48 year old ever, well actually she definitely is. We helped move the concrete cinder blocks down the hill, which turned out to be pretty hard with the wet grass and everything. After that we kinda stood around and handed things down to Julio in the hole. Our family had also dug their hole twice as deep as it was supposed to be, so they didn't have enough cement or blocks to fill in their massive latrine and would have to purchase the extras. Kinda sucked. So while standing around we did get to play with more of the kids which really made it tolerable. We even got to see 2 more per parrots who were a little older and a pet "juatusa". I dunno what exactly it is, it has a rodent-like head and I guess they grow to be about 1.5 feet tall. The family was gonna eat it when it got that big. In the afternoon we helped the same family finish off what they had and then moved down the street. We ended up mixing and hauling cement in the rain for a couple hours which felt great after the heat and humidity. And apparently all you have to do to make Arizonans get a little crazy is add water. Good times.

Wednesday morning Jeanne and I helped put up a new tin roof. We ended up just handing the big tin pieces up to the guys on the roof as well as picking up nails that had fallen. Later on in the afternoon a big group of us helped fill in little trench that we had placed a small PVC water line in. Then we moved onward and hung out at a house while they finished a latrine. There were at least 30 people staring into that hole, so we just chatted among ourselves.

Thursday was the big fiesta. We had a really long ceremony kinda thing in the church where people from both groups gave speeches and songs were sung and people were sweaty. We handed out hygiene kits to the families and took Polaroid’s of them. We enjoyed our lunch and handing out candy and cookies. Then we went across the street where they played music and we danced in a tiny room. It was majorly freaking hot and humid but pretty fun otherwise. Although there was one girl, the daughter of the woman with the computer, who wouldn't let me dance with any of the other girls. So funny to have to dance with one girl while 10 others kinda hovered around us, I felt bad. A hot and sweaty fun time was had by all.

Friday was an adventure. We were set to drive the entire 6 hours, (we had a little van to help everyone fit comfortably) but our bus started leaking oil. Stopped a couple times to patch it and another to have it looked at by a mechanic in a small town. It held till we got to Juticalpa where we found a good mechanic to fix it completely. That took 4-5 hours or something, but we found a gas station that happened to have a bunch of couches, chairs, and TV and a table for card playing. So it wasn't too bad. Finally back on the road and into Tegucigalpa rather late. We were supposed to get our touristy shopping done that afternoon but that was shot. We did have a false fire alarm though and the hotel. Speaking of the hotel, its most definitely the nicest hotel I've ever stayed at anywhere, ever (this was the second time too, same hotel as 3 years ago.) But we definitely had a good celebratory dinner. I laughed a lot because almost everybody from our group had a beer or glass of wine, and when we walked from the bar area to the dinner table we had to walk by the group from Georgia who had a lot of kids around my age. They were staring at me and my domestic Honduran beer from over their orange soda and Pepsi, and yes they were looking at me, I'm sure of it.

Saturday morning was spent running around shopping. I got myself a nifty Honduran football shirt, some bracelets and a hackey sack. My mother ended up buying a blanket, 2 sets of tablecloth/napkin whatever sets, and some other blanket kinda thing that has some purpose I forgot, but it's not just a blanket, I know that now. We flew out and into Miami. Back to the same crappy hotel where we enjoyed pizza, beer and cheap crap wine.

Sunday we left Miami and finally returned to Phoenix. So many time changes in so few days had me all messed up and I had to awake at 4:15 the next morning in order to drag my ass to work. A great way to work your way back into the routine I guess.

So anyway, I tried to shorten it up a little, though it turned out to be a massive entry anyway. If you have any questions or whatever feel free to ask. I did enjoy the trip though, even though the people we worked with didn't need our help as much as 3 years ago. But I loved hanging out with the group from our church. I think everybody did, and we all made great friendships which has its own merits. I was kinda hoping the trip would help me personally a lot more than it did, but you take what you can get sometimes.

Take Your Octave and Shove It

2005-06-16T18:29:00.000-06:00

You know what "Commit This To Memory" really reminds me of? Harvey Danger's "Where Have All The Merrymakers Gone?" album (I'm sure you've all heard Flagpole Sitta'), which is one of my favorites, and contrary to popular belief, they are not a one hit wonder. Both bands write lyrics with wit and a healthy vocabulary, both have mellow songs along with rockinous tracks as well. At first I didn't like "WHATMG" but it slowly grew on me. Instead of skipping the slow tracks, I listened to the lyrics and understood the story they were telling, and I enjoyed it. I believe it’s the same thing with the new MCS. The slower songs, while not the kind of tracks I wanted to get, are wonderfully written lyrically with the music there to help support. I think my building up of expectations for months and months, and pigeonholing of the band as more of a pop/inde/emo/punk band that likes to rock out and have fun led to the let down I felt. Who am I to say they can't express themselves musically in whatever way they want (though I'm adamant that Mark "Dick" Hoppus had a lot to do with the newer style.)

It's still a good CD, though I like it less than their first release. The first 3 tracks (Attractive Today, Everything Is Alright, When "You're" Around) are absolutely amazing and were exactly what I wanted and expected (they even got Patrick Stumph to do some backing vocals on "Everything Is Alright", although it's a shame you can't hear him since he has such an amazing voice.)

"Resolution" tells an interesting story though I was confused as to why they would follow the first three songs that were so fast and poppy with the acoustic intro and partially laidback song that it is.

Next is "Feel Like Rain" which I like a lot, although it really seems to be a song about depression and suicidal thoughts that come with the boredom and cabin fever brought on by a Minnesota winter.

"Make Out Kids" is just there, nothing about it stands out.

I enjoy the lyrics in "Time Turned Fragile" a lot, even though I don't know who "J' is.

"Let's Get Fucked Up And Die" is one of my favorite tracks on the CD and a lyrical masterpiece that is funny, thoughtful and self-critiquing. After the initial disappointment of the mellowness of the whole song, I really came to appreciate the lyrical wit of this song.

"Better Open The Door" is very interesting in that I can't really figure out what the song is about. It seems very contradictory to tell funny stories of weekend fun then exclaim, "Our Hell ends every weekend, but it's all I have left to believe in". I dunno. But its great song to sing along to and jump up and down even if you don't know what it means, I like it for that.

"Together We'll Ring In The New Year" is an eclectic song with jumbled lyrics that jump from thought to thought whenever they feel like it it seems. I do enjoy the lyrics though the song is pretty lackluster.

I've changed my opinion on "Hangman" having since actually read the lyrics. It's not bad and would have served as a better ending song considering the rest of the album.

"You Hold Me Down" is almost the exact same kind of ending that Harvey Danger used in their CD I referenced earlier. It's a very somber song that sparks at times with a very personal and meaningful story to tell. It has some of the best lyrics of the entire album, which is a different way to end an album. I would have liked to see it go out to the sounds of absolute chaos as portrayed through two guitars, a bass, a moog and a drum kit, but who am I to judge. I really do like the story it tells and the way its told, metaphors are fun:

"You're the echoes of my everything, You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night. You're the laziness of afternoon, You're the reason why I burst and why I bloomed... You're the leaky sink of sentiment, You're the failed attempts I never could forget. You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love... How will I break the news to you?"

P.S. Honduras later, there's so much to write.

Thursday Rule Cause It's Almost The Weekend

2005-06-16T09:45:00.000-06:00

I really into Spider Solitaire on hard right now. It's ridiculously difficult.

I'll fully review MCS and Honduras tonight hopefully, I'm getting sick from lack of sleep and excess of stress so I went to bed early last night.

Dear Mark Hoppus, You Are Such A Dick.

2005-06-15T11:09:00.000-06:00

I'm back, have been since Sunday Afternoon, I've just been way to busy to update or do much of anything. Stupid work prevents me from doing anything productive M-W. Speaking of work, I'm proud to say I haven't done anything work related all day and I've been here since 5:30 (its almost 10:30 now). I'm waiting for something to be delivered and I had some spreadsheets that I said I'd have done by today but I finished them yesterday. Thank God for Solitaire, Spider Solitaire, Hearts, Freecell, Minesweeper, MSNBC.com and BBC.com.

I bought a crap ton of new music yesterday (MCS, MXPX, Reliant K and Punk-O-Rama 10) and got to hang out with Aaron for the first time in 3 weeks, due to his Eurotrip and my Hondurotrip.

First impressions on the new Motion City Soundtrack CD (I've heard all the tracks a couple times, but I haven't really listened to the music yet.): It's a little dissapointing. It has its share of good songs, but I'm convinced that dumbass Mark Hoppus (Blink 182 guy turned producer) managed to produce a few shitty songs. A few of the songs have awkward breaks or pauses that remind of the new Bilnk 182 stuff that is terrible (I got their CD for graduation or something a long time ago but I have yet to remove it from the plastic.) The only thing that saves the songs from being complete garbage is the fact that MCS wrote the lyrics and perform it. If you take any average local band and try to pull this same shit it wouldn't fly far. Otherwise it has much of the same great wit and songwriting as the first album.

I was gonna write something else but I forgot. I'll try get a decent update up sometime in the next couple days, hopefully with pictures, but I need a better way to host them on the web. Any suggestions would be helpful.

It's Late

2005-06-03T00:12:00.000-06:00

Yay leaving for Honduras tomorrow! For some reason I got really really really excited in the last minutes/hours.

You should all leave me lots of comments, or text messages, or phone messages, or emails, or anything else you can think of.

It'll be just like people like me or something! Yeah!

Why Is "Why" the Greatest Word of All Time?

2005-06-01T14:54:00.000-06:00

Why does this always happen during the summer? Why all of the sudden do I have to be all philsophical? Why is it so easy to be so damn self-deprecating during a 3 month vacation(not really)? Why do the days seem to be getting shorter and time seems to trip and fall? Why do I trip and fall off every summer like some sort of sick tradition?

Last summer I had something special to keep me in check, but it isn't really there anymore, though I walk through its debris everyday.

I've decided that I'm going to Honduras, and I am not coming back.

You Swear, I Declare

2005-05-28T16:51:00.000-06:00

I leave for Honduras in a week from 4 hours ago. Craziness. I haven't packed anything or thought about packing anything for that matter. My mother gave me a bunch of stuff but I'm just gonna assume that I won't need any of it (Am I seriously gonna need 2 pounds of candy as a snack for the hours and hours of flying? Thats possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard, I'll be doing handsprings up and down the aisle...) I think I'll just pack all my jeans and all my old baseball shirts and that should cover everything.

Took Audrey out (kinda) last night for her birthday. It went much better than expected, as she was worn out from working a lot lately and a full day of birthday goodness. Spent a couple 3-4 hours talking at my favorite park on my new favorite park bench. It was cool evening and we were begging for rain which never came. I know it sounds like a barrel of fun, but I had a wonderful time, but I won't bore with details unless you really can't live without it or something.

In conclusion, work sucks and I'm gonna rage if they can't find something to keep me occupied.

7 AM Comes A 7 Too Soon

2005-05-22T23:11:00.000-06:00

First day on the job tomorrow. Who's excited!?!?? Not me. I really can't wait to start another summer going to a job I already hate even though I have yet to see my first minutes go by.

This is some BS right here.

The Answer Is...

2005-05-22T16:38:00.000-06:00

I wish I knew who I was sometimes.

I'm going to go outside and play in the sun so I can get skin cancer and die.

Yeehaw

2005-05-10T00:50:00.000-06:00

I think life has always been very predictable for me. Maybe I'm just good at figuring out whats about to happen right before it does so I'm prepared for it. Like a scary movie, I'm usually able to spot those scary moments coming and thats why I never really enjoy those types of movies. Give me enough time with someone and I can fit myself inside their head. It gets pretty bad when I can say something and know the exact response I'm going to get from certain people. I guess being an only child help me learn how to manipulate people a little?

Thats why I've really wanted to be surprised lately. Just something or someone do something so out of the blue that I'm caught completely off guard. I've never been surprised like that before. Never had a surprise birthday party, never had someone unexpectedly meet me an the airport or anything like that.

This whole first year has been a lot like I expected. I have met some people with personalities that I never would have imagined at a school like this. Although I don't expect them to be around much longer. I don't know how much longer I'll make it either, hopefully the Chem-Eng major will be interesting enough to keep me around.

I didn't know what I wanted to do in life until after I was already here, which was a bad move on my part. If I had it to do again I would have gone to U of A where they would have paid me to go to school. I'd have been done with my undergrad in 2.5 years and could have a jump-start on Med-School. I don't know if I really regret coming to Mines, but I"m definitely taking the longer, harder, more expensive route through life.

I don't know if I'm really experiencing college here though. I see the same people day in and day out (which I don't mind most of the time) but I wonder how different it is to go to a school with art majors, business majors, whatever. A lot of the kids around here seem to have clone personalities.

I'm trying my best.

Welcome Home Outcast

2005-05-04T21:24:00.000-06:00

I just talked to a friend from back home, of whom I haven't spoken to since spring break, and found myself pleasantly surprised. He had to get food but he really wanted to know what I was doing this summer so he demanded that we finish the conversation later on. I was about to ask him about his plans so I was glad to hear the feeling was mutual.

Its weird though because I feel so disconnected (which is as much my fault as anybody else) from Tempe (save for a few people) and it caught me by surprise. He's been a friend of mine since 6th grade, but we never really started to hang out outside of classes/lunch periods until junior year. I think it's because we are both sailing similar ships right now. Both out of state, both experienceing seriously different people, places, weather, etc. You come to apreciate the things you have (had) back home when they arn't there for you anymore. Someone once wrote about absense, and fondness, and they were probably right.

This all comes during a time when I feel that people have been avoiding me. Maybe avoiding is the wrong word, but they've definitely not been putting forth the effort that I have when I really want to talk to them. I know its finals time and everything, but I hope you can spare 15 minutes of your life. I think I'm just dying for attention or something, but it's so nice to know that someone (from back home) actually gives a shit about my life, besides when I'm coming back. If I have to answer the question of what day I get back again I'm gonna cry, stop reminding me that I'm not already there.

So yeah, we had a great 15 minute conversation which made me wish I could type faster. Hopefully he'll back online soon and we can continue our little jaunt. Happiness comes from the most random places sometimes. It also helps if you've got your "Super Happy Ska Mix" playing in the background...

Jump!

2005-05-01T22:07:00.000-06:00

I swear to God I have Mono. I haven't slept this much since I've been here, ever. Even when I have to opportunity to sleep through a day I always wake up after 8-9 hours. In 2 days I've logged 22 hours of sleep, that's almost half of my weekend (I'm actually kinda proud of that). I could barely study for the Calc exam until the night before. Usually thats not a problem, especially if I know that the test is really important as this one was. Whatever.

I want to write something worth reading, something deep and philisophical, just to prove I've got something important going on in my life/mind.

Poo-gas...

Sugar, We're Going Down

2005-04-28T22:27:00.000-06:00

So I've decided that I would probably hit my Calc prof with a shovel if I were given the opportunity.

On a lighter note, the new Fall Out Boy CD shipped today, and one is headed to my house right now. I'm so excited to get my hands on it. One more reason I can't wait for summer.

Right now I'm just gonna enjoy Napolean Dynamite and dream myself away to next May 10...

Who Needs Sleep?

2005-04-24T22:16:00.000-06:00

I wish I knew why I was so tired. I got about 11 hours of sleep last night (even skipped church to do it) and I'm still tired.

Bleagh...

It Has Memories

2005-04-17T22:47:00.000-06:00

So yeah, I have a new vehicle, I'm content with it.

Trading in the Trooper was quite entertaining. My cousin is the GM over there so he appraised the trade value of my truck, $400. Awesome. The best part as I watched over his shoulder at the paper work was him filling out the driving condition or the state of the vehicle or something.

My car was rated as quote, "Dangerous," end quote.

So if you've ever driven in the old Trooper you can just thank God that I'm such a good driver and you survived.

I Should Just Stop

2005-04-16T22:59:00.000-06:00

So I've decided that when I'm older and a rich doctor and/or rock star, I'm going to hire some random huge German goon to follow me around all day. So anytime during the day that I do or think something stupid, anytime I don't do something I really should do, anytime I think or do something hateful, whatever, I will command him to punch me. I'll just close my eyes and he gets a free shot at me.

Now he's not getting paid to give me a concussion or anything, but I don't want him playing paddy-cake either. Just a good solid "I deserved that" jack to the stomach.

Under the terms of this agreement I also have the right to give him some ridiculous nickname, like one of those guys from American Gladiators.

"Thunder... one please... OOOF!...thanks big guy..."

P.S. http://www.petitiononline.com/glads1/petition.html

My Back Itches And I Can't Reach It

2005-04-15T22:45:00.000-06:00

I will have a new car and clean clothes by this time tomorrow.

I'm so excited.

In other news I am still, and forever shall be, a gutless wonder.

Over and out.

Yeah.

The Mars Volta Can Go Fuck Themselves

2005-04-13T18:00:00.000-06:00

So instead of studying for the physics exam I'm taking tomorrow I decided to cruise through the Itunes network. I found that both albums from The Mars Volta were available for my sick music jacking pleasure. Having heard rave reviews about them I figured I'd give them a try and delete if it became necessary later on.

OK, first off I love the music, they can all play their respective instruments like gods, and if that were all that they were was a recording of awesome musicians playing wonderfully melodic prog rock I wouldn't have a problem with them. But knowing they were a prog rock band, it occured to me that they would have crazy ass lyrics that I would not understand (which turned out to be very true) so I pulled up their site. I got to reading their bullshit bio only to find out what elitist asses they are. This is my favorite part were they "dispose of labels and limitations of any kind" by making original statements like;

"We are really tired of those labels and questions," says guitarist, co-founder and producer Rodriguez Lopez. "Concept album? How can any project that takes up most of your life not have a concept? Prog? How can any forward thinking art or music not be progressive? It reminds me of the first time I heard the label "emo," which is the most ridiculous label I've ever heard. How can anything you put your heart and soul into not be emotional?"

Shut your fucking mouth Rodriguez "I shit out of my mouth" Lopez IIIII Esq. god of all that is undefineable. You are not above any genre and never will be, so deal with it. Not until I hear an entire album of The Mars Volta pissing on a snare drum while beating a chicken with a flacid banana will I ever consider them to be "without a label."

We give Emo music that label not because it's emotional, because all music is emotional as he mentioned. We give it that label because it is excessively emotional, and the defining aspect of Emo music is the fact that they pour so much of their own emotions into the music, so much of their own life into their songs. The things that seperate Emo from any other punk band is that the lyrics arn't "I met this girl the other day and I think I love her," they are "I met Jenny Johnson on May 16th, 1998 and I've loved her ever since even though I can never get up the nerve to talk to her cause she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." It's not generic songs, its connecting names with faces, faces with places, and places with times in their own lives. You tend to get excessively emotional when you share your life with the entire world. Every type of music fits into a genre, how else would we locate a CD at Virgin Records? You're not getting your own section.

You're not the first or last band to claim that you defy any genre. Get off your thrones, shut your fat fucking pieholes, and play your music (which isn't bad, its the politics that suck.)

P.S. They also charge $20 + tax for their shirts, which is more horseshit than I can possibly tolerate.

Stress Out With Me Oh Yeah, Stress Out!

2005-04-12T13:18:00.000-06:00

I am freaking out right now.

Chem exam tonight, Physics on Thursday. Declared my major today, should do the same for my minor pretty soon. Mom just had surgery so I need to buy a card sometime. Gotta call to set up a time to purchase my new automobile this Saturday, which means I have to clean out the Trooper beforehand. Currently have 3 pairs of boxers and 4 days till I can do laundry for free on Saturday. Not to mention the random odd tasks like homework, restringing the guitar, figuring out which is damaged: the guitar or the cable, and trying to to become a hermit while doing all of this.

I want to nap right now but it seems so counterproductive.

"Wish That I Was As Invisible As You Make Me Feel"

2005-04-09T23:39:00.000-06:00

Idiot. Why do I care anymore? What am I holding onto? Its like We're driving a one way street and I'm not gaining ground at any sort of a measurable rate.

Desperation. Kept up the tough front for so long and nobody had the patience to put up with it, except for me. Now you're breaking promises you made with the world, with me, and worst of all, the ones you made with yourself. Go ahead and crawl back to your past, why the hell should I care. You'll never put me in front of a lens like that, I bet it'd be too embarassing for you.

Love. I bet you do care, but I never see it. Well... I do, but only when its convinient for you. Its arrogant to say it, but I feel like I could think for you, like I know exactly what you would do in any given situation. I wish, just once in my life, that I could be surprised by you.

Yay We Kept These Guys In Office!

2005-04-06T22:29:00.000-06:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7361432/

Well at least the Bush Administration rehauled the CIA a little bit. Too bad their embarrassingly large fuck-ups keep popping up.

Slow Down (Your Heart)

2005-04-04T20:52:00.000-06:00

Wow. I just finished watching The Boondock Saints and it was a completely amazing film. The thing I enjoyed most about it is that it's a morally questioning movie and they (producers, writers, whomever) didn't try to hide it. It's a very straightforward "What think on subject A" film. If you didn't get that message early on they put it out there for you in the credits. Not to mention Willem Dafoe is one crazy mofo. I loved it a lot and I really recommend that anybody see it, and if you've already done so you should watch it again cause you know you loved it the first time.

In other news I'm trying to be a good listener, a good friend, and a good person, but apparantly I really suck at it.

Close the door and take the stairs.
Up or down? Ups and downs.
Don't pretend you've never been there.
You kiss me like an overdramatic actor who's starving for work,
with one last shot to make it happen.
You've won the role, you've played your part, you've been cordially invited.
But I'm not impressed, and I'm definitely not excited.
'Cause the film runs a shallow budget, and the writer's subject script isn't any deeper.
So dive right in...

William Beckett - The Academy Is...

I know that feeling, but I don't want to.

Need Sleepy

2005-04-04T15:07:00.000-06:00

OK so Daylight Saving Time is the worst idea ever. Not only did I lose an hour of sleep that I desperately needed after the concert, I keep finding clocks that need to be changed. Like I know how to set the clock on the microwave display. In Arizona we don't have to deal with this garbage cause we're awesome. Well us, Hawaii, American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, and most of the Eastern Time Zone portion of Indiana.

Up yours Daylight Saving Time.

Come Sail Away

2005-03-31T18:08:00.000-07:00

I've got a physics retest in 82 minutes and look what I'm doing. Fantastic. I just can't study anymore. I should know this, I do know this and I will know this in 82 minutes. I'm confident that the only reason I did so terribly the first time was the sheer intimidation factor of seeing a mass, on a spring, spinning in a horizontal circle, with uniform acceleration.

Absolute confindence empowers.

I promised a break entry but I've been so busy. I'll breeze through it I guess.

That first Friday was pretty frustrating. Went out with Audrey and it came to my attention that she really didn't want to be there. So I gave up after a few hours, made her call for a ride and went to practice with the band since they actually enjoyed my company. She was much better on Easter Sunday but it was later revealed to me that she didn't know why she was acting that way and that she already misses me (Monday). Oops! You blew it...

Sunday I went to church and played with the band. Afterwards went with the church kids to Price Costco and Taco Bell for food. Cruised through Guitar Center for awhile. eventually rented Harold & Kumar and watched it at Aaron's house. Can't remember much after that.

Monday was spent with two doctor's appointments, yay...

Tuesday I had two job interviews. Both went well I guess, I got to choose between either of them. So I'll be working in the groundwater department over the summer. I really could care less, I only chose it because they work four 10 hour days and it seemed like less work. My mom still believes I'm going to become an engineer so she got me multiple interviews in her company. I just want to get paid, pad the old resume and not have my mom bitch at me for not having a job. If I had it my way I'd work at the Safeway a quarter mile from my house or something.

On that note I'd like to mention that I'm not ever going to be an engineer if I can help it. I'd almost rather die than sit in a cubicle all day or dig holes in Saudi Arabia. In fact I think I would rather die if I were to be given the choice. I just want to help people which is why I'm looking at Bio-Engineering and Med School/Rock Star. When I'm a big rock star I'll be able to start my own chairty organization. it'll be good I promise.

Speaking of rocking, I can't wait for the summer to come. Apparantly we've found a drummer with $6000 worth of recording equipment in his room so that should be amazing fun. Not to mention I'll get to play with the church band too, and we've decided to play some real concerts with non church music at some point during the summer. I'll get to play guitar and be the lead singer in both. I'll have my new amp and everything will be fuckin amazing. Speaking of guitars I think my guitar cable has been damaged. At least I hope its the cable since it costs less to replace than having to repair the guitar. I'm concerned for my baby...*sniffle*

Anywho... Tuesday night rolled around and I still had no takeers for the concert, but I finally wrangled Craig into going. He invited his girlfriend as well. It's good to see him with someone else after getting the shaft in his last relationship. It was good to see him period. The concert was kind of a dissapointment though. I think I just had my hopes way too high though. The energy was amazing I just couldn't hear the music very well. I think being in the middle of a crazy moshpit really cuts into the acoustics. Then some lead guitarist stage dives and I end up being the only person who tried to catch him in all the craziness that was involved in the last song. He shook my hand as he got rafted back to the stage when we finally got him up. It was fun.

Wednesday was spent waiting for Garret to be relieved of babysitting duties so we could shop for amps. Never happened. Fudge.

Friday I hung out at ASU with Jeremy and Spencer. Much fun. Sat in on Jeremy's physics class and worked on a crossword puzzle. Went to Spencer's Geology class and eyed all the hot girls. Freakin amazing, there were more good looking girls in that lecture hall than at this entire school, garunteed. We had finished the crossword by lunch and I spent the rest of the afternoon playing around at the computer commons or hacking the sack. Davey had called and informed me that they had become truckless in Phoenix. I was felt so bad because I didn't have a car while at ASU and when we finally headed back to where I could get my car and help them, I was informed that Toyota had helped them out first. So I sucked. Afterwards we went to Gameworks and bought ourselves some unlimited 3 hour play cards. Good fun. Found out that Daniel was finally in town and he had brought his girlfriend with him all the way from Ohio. So we went to visit them and much more fun was had by all.

Saturday did some homework, test drove some cars, then got a bunch of people together to play games and eat pizza. Stayed up too late even though I knew I was getting sick.

Woke up at 5:30 am for the sunrise service. Could barely play guitar cause I was sick and cold. Then attended the 8:30 service and the breakfast afterwards. Had to leave before I wanted so I could pack. Easter lunch was pleasant. Although it really didn't help to have 20 family and friends at your house as you have to leave for the airport. SUCK!

Then I got sick and did physics all this week. At least the week went really fast, thats all I really want at this point. Damnit 42 minutes now.

My Everything Hurts

2005-03-27T21:40:00.000-07:00

I have so much to write at the moment. I want to get it all down before I forget it, but I'm so incredibly tired/sick. Getting sick on Easter Sunday is incredibly depressing. My mind is spinning and there's no way I'm gonna be able to get any sleep tonight (hopefully my old pal Tylenol PM can help with that).

I also left my razor in Arizona, suck. So if I'm scruffier than normal this week you now know why.

I Don't Wanna Be Your Bad Memory

2005-03-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

I genuinely had the urge to shoot myself recently. I even had a dream about it. It was a pretty good dream right up until I shot myself in the stomach.

I shoulda written this when I really felt it, but I haven't had the chance.

Not that you wanna hear about it anyway.

Ya sorry.

Clear Skies and Clouded Eyes

2005-03-15T19:56:00.000-07:00

Concert was awesome. I shoulda stayed in the crazy moshpit in the middle but I figured I'd probably die if I stayed there the whole time. So I got right up next to the bass player and then jumped back into the sweaty fray for the last 6 songs or so. Hung around waiting for the doors to clear and I got to shake the drummer's hand, amazing. Then exited into the snow, without a shirt on, and got the the car quickly to grab my jacket. So much fun.

Awoke early on Sunday for church. I was still kinda aching for obvious reasons. Was good to be back after missing the last two weeks, except that I'm 2 chapters behind in Sunday School. I'll catch up with my reading on the plane Friday I think. That night I was invited to an open gym for volleyball with some of the poeple from church. We've joined a co-rec league, but I'm gonna miss the first game this Friday, fudge on that. This particular open gym happened to be located next to Evergreen High School, and I made the mistake of driving somewhere and not knowing where I was to end at. I thought it was at the high school, but turned out to be a rec center 50 feet up the hill. Spent a good 15 minutes trudging through snow trying to get into the high school. When the sun went down I could see the sign for the rec center and was pretty mad at myself. Played for a couple hours then hit the road. When I say hit the road I mean hit the road. My tire treads were packed with snow so going down that first hill involved a little slippage into the curb when I barely turned the car to keep in my own lane. Nothing else spectacular besides that.

Found out that one of my old high school baseball coachs died last week. I wasn't all that surprised since he did have a stroke last spring, but I was at a loss for words. He happened to be the second friend of mine who has died since I've been gone. A woman at my church passed away a month ago as well.

I still haven't ever been to a funeral for anybody, ever. Quite a few weddings but no funerals.

Don't be my first funeral.

What The WTF?!

2005-03-11T17:58:00.000-07:00

The Physics exam was friggin ridiculous. I got 10 out of 17 multiple choice right. Unbe-fucking-lievably. I can't ever remember doing anything with springs in that class, and guess what, 25% of the multiple choice were questions about springs. I haven't talked to anybody at this school who believes they got higher than a C on that test. It's completely absurd to make an exam that hard.

So I'm gonna assume that all the questions were worth roughly the same amount of points. That leaves me with a 58 right now, only the free response isn't graded but I didn't collect a whole lot of points on that, but I think I got enough to get me into the D- range.

On the plus side I can confidently say that I have yet to fail my first college exam, and I grabbed a couple loaves of French Bread on the way out of the CTLM.

I've Got The Urge

2005-03-09T22:58:00.000-07:00

Took a chem exam last night, I dunno. Also partook of Run Lola Run (kinda) during International Movie Night. A pretty good movie, it woulda been better if the head guy hadn't left the room completely after he started the movie because the screensaver kept popping up. It wasn't too terribly annoying until the computer crashed with 3 minutes left in the movie. Luckily I had caught those last 3 minutes of the first showing, so the guy finally showed up again and he brought out his other laptop and the dozen or so of us crowded around the catch the last scene.

Physics exam tomorrow. Haven't done much in the way of studying. Don't think I'm gonna go to studio tomorrow either, I wanna take the time to either sleep or study physics concepts that I'll be tested on tomorrow instead of learning the new bullcrap. I wanna do something outdoors as well, too nice outside to spend 7 hours of my Thursday in class and another 2 hours testing.

Stuff Like That

2005-03-06T18:20:00.000-07:00

They say you go to college not only to learn about the rotational dynamics of a bicycle wheel with non-uniform circular motion, but that you also learn about yourself. I dunno who told me that (or something like that) but they were completely right.

I ranted about this a long time ago, and now I'm coming to realize who I am and why things happen to me the way they do. I remember bitching, moaning and being downright emo about how I used to be one of the "popular" kids in elementary/middle school, and how that had changed by the time I had gotten into high school. I'll tell you exactly what happened.

Back when I was a "popular" kid I was above average at a lot of different things, just like a lot of kids. I was a really good athlete, a good artist for my age, same with music and in school. I impressed a lot of different kids with the things I could do. I could dribble between my legs and do my multiplication tables, which got the attention of a lot of kids.

When you moving into high school, people starting focusing on certain areas of their life. Instead of being 3 sport athletes, kids became 1 sport year round athletes. I didn't, I kept doing all sorts of random crap. But now I was just above average at a bunch of stuff while other were getting all sorts of good in the things they were spending a ton of time in. Not so impressive anymore.

So here I am, once again, with a few really close friends and a ton of loose acquaintances.

Its not that I can't make friends or am antisocial. I just don't fit into groups. I'm not a big athlete anymore. I play guitar and sing, but not very well. I'm not a super genius. I don't play video games like the hardcore kids around here. Its just near to impossible to find people like me who are rounded in a lot of areas, but not excellent at anything special.

I guess I do fit into one group. Emo kid.

And Now... The Rest Of The Story...

2005-03-01T22:01:00.000-07:00

So yeah I kinda said I'd continue later.

Turns out that my flight left at 3:58 and not 3, so for whatever reason I had the wrong time in my head. So headed back to Aaron's house for another 45 minutes. Almost all of the 45 minutes was spent with her in my lap and me giving her a back massage. I had gotten distracted in a conversation and had apparently stopped the massage, the following blurb occurred:

(Shad's leg hair gets pinched.)
Shad: OW!! What was that for?!
Audrey: You're not touching me.
Shad: Oh...
(Shad continues back massage and conversation.)

I was amused to say the least. So we finished watching Old School about the time I had to (really for sure) leave. So one last hug and final goodbyes to the rest of the group as well and I was off.

The flight back was pleasant. Had printed off my CAPA so I did most of that during the flight. The seat next to me was empty so I had extra leg room. And the guy in the aisle seat (I had the window, score!) turned out to be a grad student from CU who had taken some classes at Mines. I kinda figured as much when I looked up from my physics book to see him with a pad of E2 paper. Pawed my stupid ass parking bill upon leaving, $47 dollars for a stupid rectangle of pavement for the weekend. Which reminds me, I need to send the receipt to my dad so I get that covered.

Took my retake for Calc, ended up getting an 84, which is pretty good considering that its a good day in that class if I don't get stupider. In the 4 days our prof was sick I took 3 complete full to the brim pages of notes. The day she gets back I took 3 lines of notes on the 3 examples she did in which she managed to get the wrong answer every time.

So for future reference 3 cubed is 81; e + e = e ; and if you ever get the wrong answer on a volumes problem just throw an absolute volume sign on it and you'll still get the wrong answer but it'll be positive.

So back to the whole Audrey thing since people have asked me and seem to genuinely care. We had a conversation this afternoon. She couldn't really explain how we went from not speaking to what happened on that Sunday. My only rational was that I was only mad at her for about 2 days, then I spent the next month being mad at myself. She's decided that she doesn't want to have a boyfriend right now because she has more important things to deal with right now. I wasn't expecting that we would be back together at all but I was kinda surprised when she said that she wanted to be single since she hadn't been single in a long time. I dunno that it will last, she always been the kind of girl who defines herself by who she's dating. When she was single, even for a short while, her self-esteem would plummet and she'd view herself as a nobody who couldn't get a date. When she would find a new boyfriend (myself or otherwise) she became the most amazing person. Hopefully she's taking a step out of that phase, a step towards a continually amazing person. Basically we agreed that any (extra) time spent together would be enjoyed, but that we're obviously not dating again.

So in conclusion, I'll end up giving her a call over the break because I'm a completely desperate loser.

P.S. Whatever happened to Paul Harvey anyway?

I'm Keeping My Roommate Up Just To Update This Thing

2005-02-25T23:47:00.000-07:00

I can make the best tux look bad.

Speaking Of Neglectful Relationships

2005-02-24T18:55:00.000-07:00

Man I'm so bad at this blog thing now. I'll work on it.

Last weekend was nice. It was great to get out for a while. Hung around the airport for a while because my Mom and Grandparents were all getting into town about the same time as me. Made for a late night. Golf Tournament (Bachelor Party) on Friday morning. My cousins kept buying me beer. I just don't drink that much. So after 5 hours of golf I ended up being pretty tired. Rehearsal dinner that night, and an early bed time/late waking time.

Saturday ran back towards the home turf for a haircut, then 45 minutes back to take pictures of the wedding party. The wedding was very nice, although it had to moved indoors. I was so incredibly tired during the reception. Got back to the hotel and de-tuxed and was ready to crash when I got an interesting phone call.

At first I thought she was just responding to my text from Monday. About 5 minutes into the conversation I find out that she had been broken up with that morning. (apparently her ex had forgotten Valentines Day and she was angry with him and it went from there.) Kinda caught me off guard. Why call me? I couldn't tell if she was fishing for sympathy or if she really wished we were still together or if she finally understood how I felt a month ago. It was a pleasant conversation, mostly because I was tired and probably a little buzzed from all the alcohol from the weekend.

Next morning I head to church to catch up with all the boys and girls of Mission Del Sol. She was mad at me, I thought it was still because of my rant, but I guess I didn't really greet her when she arrived and that was the problem. All was forgiven.

It was just as if we went back in time for 4 hours. All that flirty boyfriend girlfriend stuff.

The whole youth group gang grabbed Burger King and went to check out Aaron's new house and watch movies. When it was time for me to head out, she had to go outside with me to the car (because she was wearing my jacket, greatest excuse to leave the room I've ever heard). We chatted for a minute, then we kinda just hugged for minute or so. I let her go and she looks right through my eyes and straight into my heart. I can tell exactly what she wants without hearing a single word.

We kissed. Once again we're back together.

I couldn't have stopped myself if I wanted. I looked into her eyes for an eternity of 2 seconds and I could see how hurt she was from the previous day, how she wished we could have still be together. The same thing I felt.

I'll continue later...

Shakes Fist

2005-02-16T23:20:00.000-07:00

You're just lucky humanity, you're lucky that someone misplaced their car keys...

I Could Be Studying, But I'd Rather Be Emo

2005-02-15T23:03:00.000-07:00

I am in no way prepared for the Calc 2 test on Thursday. I'm too preoccupied. I need to get letters of recommendation. I need to talk to professors and advisors about my major/minor. I sent a text to Audrey Monday morning and told her it was up to her when we talked again. I haven't heard back... I have homework for Sunday School that I'd rather do.

So my mind wanders. My hands search. I find my guitar. I always find my guitar. I'm getting better. I play in between calculus problems. I play and my fingers hurt so I play some more. My fingers turn red and scream. So I play some more, I wanna feel something again. I create a riff, a melody, a pattern. Then another. Why should I stop now? Why go back to mind numbing regergitation when I can create? I can free my thoughts and soul or I can watch as that blue book of shit sucks it out of me.

I'm going to do something incredibly dumb at about 3:10 pm tomorrow. It'll probably end up being completely OK and fun and wonderful. Or it could be something I may regret for a while.

I'd like to think I'm testing my faith in humanity as a whole.

It Should Be Better, We Could Be Better

2005-02-13T23:15:00.000-07:00

I got a letter today. This girl is gonna be the death of me.

After everything I've said she still has it in her head that I'm the one who's avoiding/not speaking to her. She still thinks that I'm never going to forgive her. All she had to do was ask me, and I said I'd forgive her. All she had to do was speak and I would talk back.

Now I don't know what to do. I was trying to wait it out because she was the one who threatened last time we spoke that, "If you're lucky, maybe I'll talk to you again." I was under the impression that she would come to me when she was ready, now it seems I'm the villian once again. I do want to speak to her, and apparantly she does miss me as well. It seems like an easy decision. But if I talk to her and tell her that I was waiting for the OK from her, we'll probably end up in a nother argument about how I don't ever understand what's going on/being said.

But now I'm less than a week away from being back home, and I'll probably see her at church on Sunday. I don't think she knows that I'll be back, not many people do, mostly because I'll have very little free time and I don't want to get hopes up. So if I show up and just surprise someone, anyone, I think that'd be pretty fun. So if I show up at church on Sunday and we haven't spoken in about a month what's gonna happen? Am I the villian still? What if she happens to not be there that Sunday and she finds out later that I was there and didn't tell her? Then I'm definitely the villian. What if I tell her I'll be in town but I can't make it to see her? How will she feel?

I need a Magic 8 Ball... or the human equilvilant.

So I reread the letter and I find the lines.

"I wish it didn't have to end like that. I wish it didn't have to end at all. I do miss you. And I do think about you all the time."

"I went to help with the super flea. It was fine... until the box from your house came. I had a slight breakdown. It smelled like you. I was really just freaking out. Thankfully. I don't think your parents could tell I was crying."

"I just don't like this whole not speaking thing. Hopefully one day you can forgive me."

I don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to.

Can it wait one week? I figure that if I can catch her by surprise I'll find out how she really feels and hopefully it'll be a nice surprise for not just her but everyone. But I miss everything about her, and I'd like to get any semblence of what we had back. I'm sure she is assumming that I've read the letter by now. If I don't speak to her after this will I crush her permenantly? Will it confirm in her mind what she already thinks?

I think I broke the question mark key on this keyboard.

Walkin On Moonbeams

2005-02-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

This last week has been as busy a week as I've had in a while. I loved it. I love not knowing where the time went. Time flies when you're having fun they say, and I guess I just appreciate the blurry parts cause I must have been doing something fun.

I didn't appreciate my Chem exam on which I scored a paltry 80. More stupid mistakes than I am used to making. I made up for it by nailing every single multiple choice question on the Physics exam, we'll see about the free response, but I don't anticipate butchering it too much.

Speaking of exams, I have to talk to my Calc 2 prof to see if I can take the test early. Right now my flight back to the homeland for my cousin's wedding is scheduled for 7:55 pm on Thursday. Hopefully I can take the exam on Wednesday afternoon, if not I'll have to figure out the soonest I can get outta here so I can still make the rehersal dinner and such.

Looks like next week is gonna be busy as well.

I can barely keep my feet on the ground.

Mixed Feelings

2005-02-08T15:59:00.000-07:00

Subject: Disturbing News from USS Abraham Lincoln
DefenseWatch "The Voice of the Grunt" 01-20-2005
Guest Column: No Relief in Sight for the Lincoln By Ed Stanton

It has been three weeks since my ship, the USS Abraham Lincoln, arrived off the Sumatran coast to aid the hundreds of thousands of victims of the Dec. 26 tsunami that ravaged their coastline. I'd like to say that this has been a rewarding experience for us, but it has not: Instead, it has been a frustrating and needlessly dangerous exercise made even more difficult by the Indonesian government and a traveling circus of so-called aid workers who have invaded our spaces. What really irritated me was a scene I witnessed in the Lincoln's wardroom a few days ago. I went in for breakfast as I usually do, expecting to see the usual crowd of ship's company officers in khakis and air wing aviators in flight suits, drinking coffee and exchanging rumors about when our ongoing humanitarian mission in Sumatra is going to end. What I saw instead was a mob of civilians sitting around like they owned the place. They wore various colored vests with logos on the back including Save The Children, World Health Organization and the dreaded baby blue vest of the United Nations. Mixed in with this crowd were a bunch of reporters, cameramen and Indonesian military officers in uniform. They all carried cameras, sunglasses and fanny packs like tourists on their way to Disneyland. My warship had been transformed into a floating hotel for a bunch of trifling do-gooders overnight. As I went through the breakfast line, I overheard one of the U.N. strap-hangers, a longhaired guy with a beard, make a sarcastic comment to one of our food servers. He said something along the lines of "Nice china, really makes me feel special," in reference to the fact that we were eating off of paper plates that day. It was all I could do to keep from jerking him off his feet and choking him, because I knew that the reason we were eating off paper plates was to save dishwashing water so that we would have more water to send ashore and save lives. That plus the fact that he had no business being there in the first place. My attitude towards these unwanted no-loads grew steadily worse that day as I learned more from one of our junior officers who was assigned to escort a group of them. It turns out that they had come to Indonesia to "assess the damage" from the Dec. 26 tsunami. Well, they could have turned on any TV in th world and seen that the damage was total devastation. When they got to Sumatra with no plan, no logistics support and no five-star hotels to stay in, they threw themselves on the mercy of the U.S. Navy, which, unfortunately, took them in. I guess our senior brass was hoping for some good PR since this was about the time that the U.N. was calling the United States "stingy" with our relief donations. As a result of having to host> these people, our severely over-tasked SH-60 Seahawk helos, which were carrying tons of food and water every day to the most inaccessible places in and around Banda Aceh, are now used in great part to ferry these "relief workers" from place to place every day and bring them back to their guest bedrooms on the Lincoln at night. Despite their avowed dedication to helping the victims, these relief workers will not spend the night in-country, and have made us their guardians by default. When our wardroom treasurer approached the leader of the relief group and asked him who was paying the mess bill for all the meals they ate, the fellow replied, "We aren't paying, you can try to bill the U.N. if you want to." In addition to the relief workers, we routinely get tasked with hauling around reporters and various low-level "VIPs," which further wastes valuable helo lift that could be used to carry supplies. We had to dedicate two helos and a C-2 cargo plane for America-hater Dan Rather and his entourage of door holders and briefcase carriers from CBS News. Another camera crew was from MTV.. I doubt if we'll get any good PR from them, since the cable channel is banned in Muslim countries. We also had to dedicate a helo and crew to fly around the vice mayor of Phoenix, Ariz., one day. Everyone wants in on the action. As for the Indonesian officers, while their job is apparently to encourage our leaving as soon as possible, all they seem to do in the meantime is smoke cigarettes. They want our money and our help but they don't want their population to see that Americans are doing far more for them in two weeks than their own government has ever done or will ever do for them. To add a kick in the face to the USA and the Lincoln, the Indonesian government announced it would not allow us to use their airspace for routine training and flight proficiency operations while we are saving the lives of their people, some of whom are wearing Osama bin Ladin T-shirts as they grab at our food and water. The ship has to steam out into international waters to launch and recover jets, which makes our helos have to fly longer distances and burn more fuel. What is even worse than trying to help people who totally reject everything we stand for is that our combat readiness has suffered for it. An aircraft carrier is an instrument of national policy and the big stick she carries is her air wing. An air wing has a set of very demanding skills and they are highly perishable. We train hard every day at sea to conduct actual air strikes, air defense, maritime surveillance, close air support and many other missions - not to mention taking off and landing on a ship at sea. Our safety regulations state that if a pilot does not get a night carrier landing every seven days, he has to be re-qualified to land on the ship. Today we have pilots who have now been over 25 days without a trap due to being unable to use Indonesian airspace to train. Normally it is when we are at sea that our readiness is at its very peak. Thanks to the Indonesian government, we have to waive our own safety rules just to get our pilots off the deck. In other words, the longer we stay here helping these people, the more dangerous it gets for us to operate.. We have already lost one helicopter, which crashed in Banda Aceh while taking sailors ashore to unload supplies from the C-130s. There were no relief workers on that one. I'm all for helping the less fortunate, but it is time to give this mission to somebody other than the U.S.. Navy. Our ship was supposed to be home on Feb. 3 and now we have no idea how long we will be here. American taxpayers are spending millions per day to keep this ship at sea and getting no training value out of it. As a result, we will come home in a lower state of readiness than when we left due to the lack of flying while supporting the tsunami relief effort. I hope we get some good PR in the Muslim world out of it. After all, this is Americans saving the lives of Muslims. I have my doubts. Ed Stanton is the pen name of a career U.S. Navy officer currently serving with the USS Abraham Lincoln carrier strike group.

Chain Me Free

2005-02-07T14:55:00.000-07:00

Yay for crazy weekends.

I think I've found that the only way I will do homework is when my plans for fun are threatened. Saturday I did most of the physics homework and even did (tried) some calc homework. All so I could enjoy my pre set plans w/o that kind of crap hanging over my head. The concert Saturday was pretty terrible w/ the exception of The Empties who were excellent on all fronts.

Stayed up too late though and only managed 5.5 hours of sleep before I awoke for the volleyball tourney. Made it to Regis along with teams from CSU and DU. We lost all 3 of our matches even though we definitely should have won at least 1 (Regis) and had a very legitimate chance at winning 2 (DU) but we definitely weren't the best team there (CSU killed us). I didn't play much, which didn't bother me too much, since I've only been playing the game for a semester. I finally did get to play and played an average game. I just do weird things when I get out there and play for real. I won't wait back for my hits or I'll jump off the wrong foot, or just not jump the defend a ball that I easily could have. I dunno, I'm weird.

The concert Sunday night was excellent, except for From First To Last who I thought were just loud and mostly obnoxious, at least they had energy unlike the bands Saturday night. MCS was most definitely the best band of the night, they played their live show and sounded as much like their studio recording as humanly possible and I can't wait till their new record comes out in June. The Matches are on the road to success also. They play an outragesouly awesome live show full of dropping microphones, spiffy guitar licks and their pants. Not to mention their lead singer walked among the crowd for the rest of the show trying to sell their CD and signing people's nipples. Matchbook Romance played my favorite song of theirs so I couldn't complain.

An overall great weekend. Suffering from a sore throat today though. Probably due to massive smoke inhalation and screaming all the words to MCS except for those of their 2 newest tracks. I'm not really tired though, I think my strategy of banking sleep on Thursday and Friday night payed off in a big way.

Just Waiting For The Right Phone Call

2005-02-03T23:02:00.000-07:00

So it turns out that there may be a spot opening up for the Honduras Mission Trip this summer with my church. I told my dad that I was interested and if they could transfer the ticket that I would take it and go.

I knew I wanted to go as soon as he called but he insisted that I think about it a little. So much has changed in 3 years. I first went as a sophomore way back in the day. I'm so different and I wonder if the village has changed as much as myself. I'm intrigued.

It's like holding I'm unlimited power in 2 hands.

I think I need to prove something to myself.

The saddest songs make me the most happy.

In other news I'm not gonna be getting any sleep this weekend so I think I'm gonna try to bank some tonight since I don't have an 8 am tomorrow.

The Rush

2005-01-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday mornings seem to be quite the adventure lately. Alarm didn't go off so I woke up at 10 and completely missed the church service. Dressed as fast as I could so I could at least make it to Sunday School. Forgot my book so i had to park outside the dorm and run inside real quick. Stupid ill-tempered truck wouldn't start when I got back out. Boy was I pissed/freaking out. I just kinda sat there and stared at the snowflakes hitting the window. Then I just started laughing at myself cause there was this dude just standing down the street apparantly waiting for a ride. I could just imagine how goofy I looked. So I decided to give it one last attempt and gave it as much gas as possible and the truck decided to cooperate. Made it just in time for class. w00t! It was a good class and I got to meet Scarlet and Julie this week. Good times.

Spent most of the last week avoiding homework and playing guitar. Finally finished all my work at the last minute and it turned out to be quite a nice week.

A Dee Dah Day

2005-01-23T21:53:00.000-07:00

Today was an experience.

I made it down to church right on time after I went to the wrong parking lot looking for my car. Got to meet Mandy, Andrea and Jess who invited me to the Sunday School class that they were teaching. Met Deb who gave me a copy of the book they were reading after having met me 10 minutes before. Now I have homework to do before next Sunday, but I actually want to do it. Not mention Rob, Steve, Emry, Monique, Anna and the 3 other women who's names I forgot cause I'm a terrible person. Everybody there was so nice and friendly, it really did amaze me. I shouldn't really be this surprised it is a church, but it is a very nice group of people and I'd be more than happy to spend my Sunday mornings with them.

Speaking of being a terrible person, I made a girl cry today, a lot. I'll admit that it wasn't the best way the make my point but she hurt me deep and I was angry. I didn't think it was as bad as she made it out to be, but yes, I did put it out in the open. I felt terrible after talking to her, but you know what? Everything I said was absolutely true, and I can't really feel too bad for telling the truth.

It really doesn't sound like much when its written down, but its gonna be one of those days that I can look back on and remember, both for its good and its bad.

A Series Of Awesome Events

2005-01-22T15:31:00.000-07:00

A Mines friday night has the potential to be incredibly dull and boring or holy freaking awesome. Nothing in between.

Last night was one of the latter. You can't go wrong starting off a friday night by winning 4 times the amount you bought in with in a poker game. What about 2 half pound burritos from taco bell at the price of 89 cents each, thats a pound of food for less than 2 bucks. What about some Hackey Sack? Did that in the common area of suite 34E along with some hardcore 2 ball action. Got to watch some guys play nutball with a tennis ball, then an orange, and finally they moved to the oh-so-gruesome softball. Even played some N64 later on, old school action just for kicks. Back to the hack and then table/paper football. We capped off the night with Cocoa Puffs and Halo 2 until 3 am.

I'll take that Friday night every night for the rest of the semester.

Open Doors Are Open Ended

2005-01-19T23:55:00.000-07:00

It's looking like this semester may be more annoying than the last. Chem 2 should be the most interesting, Seger does his best to keep me entertained. Calc 2 could be pretty painful, I think we've already fallen behind the other classes. It wouldn't surprise me since we spend 15 minutes of each class reviewing what we did the day before, then we have an example for every new concept, such terribly hard subjects as multiplication and subtraction. Physics is already annoying the crap out of me, and since I didn't have Calc based Physics in high school I don't really know it like I thought I would. I dunno about Epics yet, it could be a lot of fun, but it'll probably just end up stressing me out and the end of the semester.

I really enjoyed FCA tonight. I hadn't been since the first or second meeting because volleyball meets at the exact time, which sucks. It reminds me of how much I miss my church back home. I should start going to the Presbyterian church down the street this semester as I was unable to last semester because of a certain jerk (very Christian of me) roommate who kept me up till 2 every night. Hopefully I'll get (and keep) the initiative to go.

I was really weird tonight, because throughout the meeting the various speakers touched on certain things that have been on my mind for a while now. Very odd how that seems to happen to me from time to time.

A(nother) sign?

Mission Statement?

2005-01-17T00:09:00.000-07:00

New beginnings are always exciting aren't they? I don't know who'll end up reading this, well except for Matt, but I've decided that I shouldn't care. I just want to start fresh and have a place to store my thoughts, talk about my day whatever. Who knows, maybe I'll come back years from now and I'll be able to know what was going on in my life at that moment. I think that's kinda neat anyway.

I usually don't make/can't remember any of my New Year's resolutions but I guess this is one I can work on.

P.S. I also wanted a new wog cause I have a big long rant I wanted to make, but I didn't want to post it on my old one cause I haven't talked to the person concerned yet. More on that when I have more time/energy to write.